The Eye of the Bedlam Bride — Chapter no 65

[ 65 ]

WE HAD ONE HOUR. I LOWERED MY VOICE TO A WHISPER. “DONUT, GET your headset on and get ready to cast your spell. Samantha. I need you to enhance it if you can. Everybody going in the front door, get your invisibility potions ready, but not yet. Donut is casting two spells, and the first one is going to take five minutes to fully cast. As soon as she’s done, I’m going to toss smoke bombs, and then we’ll Puddle Jump to the entrance and make our way inside.”

Donut had to position herself so she could actually see the group, and she plopped herself at the very edge of the alley, inside the basket of one of the taxi bikes, lowering herself so only her eyes would be noticeable. Mordecai said the spell would make her glow, so being invisible wouldn’t work. If one of those demons turned and looked, they’d see her.

Imani floated up. She, too, could enhance spells.

“Is this really going to work?” Elle whispered, peering out at the mass of demons. There were thousands of them. “You said it only works on intelligent mobs, and zombies ain’t too smart.”

“It’s demon zombies. They’re intelligent,” I said. I reached over and scratched Donut. “Donut seems to think the regular zombies are steering clear of this whole neighborhood. Okay, everybody. This spell takes five minutes to cast, so stay low. Ready, Donut?”

“Oh, wow,” Donut said after a moment. “With my Charisma boosts, I can select the whole group out there! Even some of the birds! And the casting is only four minutes now. I wish I still had that Charisma tiara.”

“That’s okay. You’re good,” I said. “Go.”

Donut glowed as she cast Minion Army. We’d received the book near the end of the first floor. She had yet to cast it because it was so dangerous to use. It was a spell designed for war, and the moment she cast it, she’d be

frozen and vulnerable for four minutes straight.

The spell was only level one, before the boost. It turned two percent of the enemy in the casting area against their comrades. With both Imani and Samantha enhancing the spell, that two percent should turn to about five percent. That number still seemed low to me, but both Mordecai and Doctor Bones had insisted it would create utter chaos.

A countdown timer appeared over her. Rooted in Place appeared. Mongo made an uncertain peep.

“It’s okay,” I said to the dinosaur. “She’s fine.”

The shimmering, golden glow around Donut increased in intensity with each passing second.

I continued to peer at the demons who remained unmoving and raised my whisper up a little. “Okay guys. As soon as it casts, all hell is going to break loose, and the assault team will move. As soon as we say the word, the rest of you need to get to work. We need you to keep them from coming up behind us, but only wade in there if it’s absolutely necessary. Ranged attacks only.

I’m counting on you, Splash Zone, to help keep them safe.” I turned to look over my shoulder. “Also, the sluggalos… Goddamnit. Where the fuck are the sluggalos?”

“Chop, chop, bitches!” came a deafening battle cry from one street over as the entire squad of forty, hatchet-wielding, idiot slugs poured into the group of demons.

“Oh shit,” Louis said. “They’re doing a Leeroy…”

“Don’t even say it,” I growled. “Goddamnit.”

“Who could’ve predicted that?” Imani said drily.

Combat Started.

Donut had three minutes left.

If the demons didn’t kill them, I was going to do it myself. “Everyone.

Protect Donut until she’s done with her spell!”

The line of forty slugs slammed into the group of demons like a calvary charge. It was like watching a fast forward video of a tidal wave of snot storming a beachhead.

The demons appeared to be in a sort of stupor. None were reacting until they were actually struck by one of the slugs. If the blow didn’t outright kill them, only then would they start to respond. The larger demons, like the seals, would flip back, knocking over several of their friends, who in turn would start to wake up as well. The slugs were cutting through them like a

wheat thresher.

That advantage wasn’t going to last long.

For now, however, it was oddly fascinating to watch. The slugs weren’t all that great at fighting or killing, but they made up for it with over-the-top enthusiasm.

“At least they came from the other street,” Elle said, floating next to me, watching as the others all came to stare.

“Wow, look how fast they’re going,” Tran said. One of the smaller slugs leaped through the air and bit directly onto the neck of a seal, but it didn’t appear to actually do anything. The seal slowly started to react, like it had been asleep. Before it could do anything further, several more slugs fell on it, screaming and whooping, their hatchets slamming up and down.

“How are they even swinging those axes?” Britney asked, fascinated.

“They don’t even have arms.”

“I’ve learned not to think about that sort of thing too much, and it makes everything so much easier,” Elle said.

Not all of them even had weapons, but the ones that did indeed mostly wielded deadly-looking hatchets that kind of floated to the right or left of their long necks, and they’d swing up and down, like they were on a swivel.

A few had other weapons, too, like knives and baseball bats covered in barbed wire. One had a cylindrical, metal mace thing attached to the end of his body, and he was spinning like a spasming dog chasing his own tail. He was hitting more of his own people than demons. It was goddamn weird.

“If we get a few thousand more of these guys, we could win the war on the first day,” Louis said. “Imagine a whole battalion of those things paratrooping behind enemy lines.”

Imani chuckled without humor. “Be careful what you wish for. Don’t forget how Carl makes these.”

The first thrum of a hell portal opening echoed. It reverberated across the battlefield like a plucked bass string. Followed by a second. The majority of the demons remained unmoving, and I was starting to wonder if we should’ve attempted a different technique to approach the building. It was too late now.

Within thirty seconds, half the slugs were gone. The demons who’d woken up were now surging toward the attackers, who seemed oblivious of the changing tide of battle.

“Sluggalos, retreat!” came the bellow from the largest one. A level 52 slug with green clown makeup and a stained ruffle around his neck.

“No,” I shouted, not bothering to hide ourselves anymore. “No retreat!”

The remaining handful of slugs finally decided they wanted to save themselves and started slithering away, screaming expletives at the demons

behind them, who all rushed to pursue.

They surged directly toward us.

“Not in this direction, you idiots!”

They trailed their orange slime along with a healthy smear of blood as the seals, crabs, fish, and mix of other demons finally spied us all there in the alley.

Donut had just under a minute left. Her entire form glowed, the light shining off her like a star.

“I guess it’s my turn,” Elle said, grumbling. “Everybody stand back. This spell has a one week cooldown, but I guess I gotta use it now. Don’t know if this is going to make things better or worse.”

The earth and ice fairy floated into the air. Her hands glowed blue.

“Coming in!” the lead slug cried as he slurped toward us, weaving back and forth, like a snake surging through water. The thing was almost as big as me, and I had no idea which stripper he came out of or how it had been born of a single boil. And there were some that were an even higher level. This one’s name was Rampageous.

He smashed through the rampart made of bicycles, sending them flying. I reached to grab the bike Donut was hiding within, but I missed. The bike went tumbling, the back passenger department smashing through Donut like she was made of steel. She remained in place, now floating a foot off the ground, but she’d taken some damage. Mongo roared in outrage.

The slug paused, looking up at Imani. “Oh hey, 313. Did you see that shit? Fucking epic!” He resumed his retreat.

I turned to face the demons as the remaining slugs, maybe six or seven of them, surged past in their hasty retreat, revealing a mass of about seventy or eighty demons moving in. Behind them, the rest remained frozen in place,

undisturbed.

Elle cast Graupel.

“Oh shit, oh shit,” Elle shouted as the blue glow around her increased in intensity. “Guys, it says it’s casting more powerful than usual. Holy shit, head’s up!”

A thunderclap knocked us all back as sheets of hail poured from the sky.

Elle had received the spell in a loot box after our first fight with the Maestro

in Grull form, way back at the end of the fourth floor. She’d only cast it once before, and that was to defeat the air quadrant in their bubble on the fifth.

Mordecai had warned that this was a war spell, meant only to be cast outside. I could now see why.

Death rained from above in a wide area in front of us. Fist-sized chunks of ice pelted down from the heavens, temporarily blocking out the burning sky. Steam and smoke filled the entire area as the storm rolled through. The black asphalt in front of the alley started to explode with each impact. Behind the approaching demons, more cries rose, but they were quickly drowned out.

The ground rumbled like an earthquake.

Elle remained in place as level notifications pinged over and over above her head, settling her onto level 72. She’d risen six levels at once. It’d been a while since I’d seen something like that happen.

“It cast!” Donut cried, coming unfrozen. She hissed as she dropped to the ground. “It…” she paused, looking into the steam as the deafening hailstorm eased off. I couldn’t see a damn thing, but almost all the red dots on my map

had turned to X’s.

Combat Complete. Deck has been reset.

“Carl, what did you do?”

“Wow,” Louis said, looking up at Elle. “We should’ve done that in the first place.”

Elle appeared to be in a daze. “What the hell? That spell is strong, but it’s not usually that strong. It’s only level five. It said it cast at level 16. I just got a bunch of achievements. Holy hell, look at my level.”

“Samantha,” I asked, looking for the doll head. She was just floating there, six feet off the ground. She, too, glowed with a bluish white light. “Did you do that?”

For the first time, perhaps ever, Samantha looked equally confused and concerned. She was mumbling to herself, spinning in circles. “Elle is part earth, part water mage,” she said, floating past, talking to herself as she continued to rotate. “She’s on the four seasons path. I… but how did that happen? I am stronger too. I didn’t do that. It’s the tree, I think. Or maybe.

It’s all there. He’s opening a path through the river, the water, and the tree, the earth. It’s good she’s not fire yet, but maybe the prince’s spell enhanced her. No. No. Gotta kill her. No, not Elle. Her mother. No, not her mother.”

She shook her head like a dog. She turned to look at me. “What just happened? Carl, did you roofie me again?”

“Again?” I asked. “Samantha, what were you just saying?”

“You need to stop gaslighting me, Carl.”

Elle grunted. “Whatever the hell that was, I think it solved part of our problem. Look.”

The steam had started to ease as water rushed into the alley. There was a knee-high pile of rapidly-melting ice between us and the building, and mixed in with all that ice was a field filled with the mangled corpses of demons as far as I could see. The front of the building appeared for a moment, and it looked as if it had been spared by the assault.

“Wait, so I cast that giant spell for nothing?” Donut asked. “Elle, you stole my experience!”

“I don’t think so,” Elle said, pointing upward. “Look!”

Donut gasped. “You’re right! I just got experience for something. And again!”

The tornado of demon birds and bats remained circling the top of the building, high above. They’d apparently been out of range of the Graupel spell. Donut’s spell had included the lower area of the bird formation, and it was clear several of them were now fighting each other. Bodies started to hail

down from the sky.

We had forty minutes left.

“I don’t think my spell reached the demons huddling on the ground on the far side of the building,” Elle said. “We better move before they come to investigate what the hell is going on.”

“Don’t bother with Puddle Jump,” I said, turning to sprint through the ice field of death. “Assault team, go!”

We turned toward the building, and we ran.

We waded through rapidly-melting slush and demon gore as we reached the front entrance to the FOCSA building, which to my surprise was actually an open air mall of some sort. Multiple businesses spread out, filled with unaware memory ghosts as the early-morning shoppers moved in and out of grocery stores and electronics shops and bakeries, all of which ringed the outer perimeter.

“There!” Li Na called, pointing at a locked, glass door. It was an entrance for the residents above the mall. I kicked it in and rushed into a brightly

painted lobby, looking for the stairs. They were right there, just past an empty reception desk and a bank of elevators.

It was me, Donut, Mongo, Katia, Louis, Bautista, Li Na, Li Jun, and Samantha. Everybody else including the strippers remained outside, but they would soon come into this same lobby on my direction. They would remain here and protect our exit, in the unlikely event we took the stairs back down to get out. Tran and Britney, who were both on Katia’s squad, would also follow, but remain in the stairwell in case anybody got past them.

The sluggalos were all gone, having run back into the city. I knew if this was during the real Faction Wars, I could go into my warlord menu and force them back into line. That was something Priestly and several other cookbook authors who came before me didn’t know about the Conscript spell.

Outside, the demon birds and bats continued to hail like rain. Donut was getting experience for each one that died, whether it was a charmed bird or not.

We pushed past the lobby toward the stairwell.

“We have to climb the stairs?” Donut asked, pointing at an open elevator.

“Why don’t we take the elevator?” The walls shook. “Mongo is scared of

stairs.”

“Are you crazy?” Katia asked.

“Well, you’re crazy if you think I’m going to run up 30-something floors.”

“Donut, we’re taking the stairs,” I said. “Everybody be on the lookout for mobs and traps.”

I kicked the door to the stairwell in, and it went flying. All of this stuff was locked, and I briefly wondered how Sister Ines had gotten in here.

Everything was so hot. It was a miracle the entire place wasn’t already in flames. The teal-colored paint was bubbling in some places.

“We need Elle with us,” Donut grumbled. “She has that mist spell that keeps everything cool.”

The demon continued to shout. The walls rumbled. The timer ticked down and down.

nd With about a half hour left, we reached the door to the 32floor. The heat rose the further we went up. A few of us were starting to take

environmental damage. Sister Ines was here, through the main door and down the hallway. This was the top floor of the regular residences. There was a service door behind us that led to another hallway and stairwell that wasn’t normally used by the tenants. Everything above here was through a separate stairwell and consisted of expensive, penthouse apartments. It was on top of this block where the demon stood.

“Everyone stay here,” I said. I kicked in the service door and went down the hallway in the opposite direction of Sister Ines, coming to the separate stairwell up past the penthouses and to the roof. I pulled my last automaton out of my inventory and went up this last flight of stairs. I put the small robot on the floor in front of the door to the outside. The spider automaton had both sides of a teleport trap upon it. It would walk up to the snake and bump into it, setting off the trap, but the anchor or beacon end of the trap was also atop the back of the robotic spider, so the snake wouldn’t actually go anywhere.

We needed it to remain in place, though it would still technically teleport.

This would immediately break the demon from the shell of the snake city boss, allowing the demon to take its true form.

It would also break it out of control of Sister Ines if we absolutely had to do it this way, though in order to do this properly, we needed to kill the nun first. Both Mordecai and I feared if we didn’t kill her before the demon was freed, the first thing the full-powered demon would do would be to seek revenge and torch the entire building with us still inside. If he knew she was dead, and we were the ones who did it, he would hopefully at least pause before killing us.

I held my breath and kicked out the door to the roof, revealing the snake standing right there, still as vertical as a flagpole launching fire upward. The cacophony of the birds and bats swirled all around me. Nothing acknowledged me. That was good.

“Okay,” I shouted at the automaton. I had a remote control clicker in my inventory. “You stay here. As soon as I click, you go out there and bump into

it! Understand?”

The tiny robot did a little hop.

I turned and returned to the others to find Li Na leaning with her head against the door.

“Robot is set,” I said. “I’ll send it out there the moment she’s dead.”

“I can hear her,” Li Na said. “She’s chanting.”

“More poetry,” Donut spit.

“Poetry sucks,” Louis added.

“Okay,” I whispered, cutting Samantha off before she professed even more love for Louis. “Me, Louis, Li Jun, and Bautista are going to go in. The rest of you stay here unless we need you.”

“Why just the boys?” Donut demanded.

“Because we’re the deckmasters,” Li Na replied, pulling back from the door. “She’s down the hallway. He’s trying to finish the fight without forcing a card battle.”

“Huh,” Donut said, looking around. “Aren’t the deckmasters the strongest ones in the party? Funny how that worked out.”

“Everybody remember the finger-breaking trick in case she charms you,”

Katia added.

“I don’t have any cards,” Samantha grumbled. “Why do I have to stay here?”

“Because you agreed to do what I said. Now everyone shush.”

I leaned against the door. In any other circumstance, I’d just toss a stick of dynamite in and be done with it, but not with a deity in the body of a city boss over our heads and thirty plus floors of building underneath us.

“She’s at the end of the hall, and she hasn’t moved in hours. Be ready for anything. Here we go.”

I pulled my new Nighty-Night wand. I opened the door to reveal a glowing Sister Ines, running full tilt down the hallway directly at us, screaming “Sinner!” at the top of her lungs. She was already too close.

“Gah!” I zapped my wand, and she instantly went unconscious. She dropped and slid, coming to a stop at my feet. A two minute timer appeared

above her.

Combat Started.

The notification came, but she was out. I exchanged a look with the others. Li Jun shrugged.

“I think I just shit myself,” Louis said, panting. “Did you see the look in her eyes? What was that notification over her head?”

“Well, that was easy,” I said. I hadn’t seen the marker. Whatever it was, it was gone now. “I guess we gotta kill her.”

“I’ll do it,” Louis said, pushing me aside. “I already have five player skulls and none of you guys do. Trust me. You want to put that off as long as possible.” Before I could object, he pulled a dagger from his inventory.

“Sorry cat lady. I never met you, but you need to go if we want to save

everybody else.” He took the knife and plunged it directly into her chest.

Sister Ines Quiteria, The Reaper of Havana, finally died.

A symbol appeared over Louis’s head. I immediately recognized it. It was a god’s marked for death indicator. It came in the form of a spinning squiggle, almost like that of a tornado.

We all just stared at the symbol as my heart sank.

“Uh-oh,” Louis said as music started to play.

The death of the bard has angered her celestial Patron. She is coming to seek revenge.

The Goddess Ysalte has entered the realm.