The Eye of the Bedlam Bride

The Eye of the Bedlam Bride — Chapter no 19

[ 19 ]

THE CROWN FORMED INTO EXISTENCE ON KATIA’S HEAD.

“Katia,” Donut said, looking up. “You have a purple tiara! It’s so pretty.

It’s just like…” She trailed off, realization striking her. She went absolutely rigid in my lap.

“Why? How?” she said after a moment. “Did Louis throw that on your head?”

“It was Eva,” Katia said. “She did it at the last minute, right before she died. It was my fault. I’d talked when I should’ve just killed her.”

“You were monologuing?” Donut asked quietly. “You know we don’t

monologue, Katia.”

“I know. It’s my fault.”

Donut took a deep breath. “Who knows?”

“In addition to everybody in the room, Li Na, Li Jun. Probably Zhang and Chris. Louis, Britney, and Tran. I haven’t told any of the Meadowlark folks yet, but I bet it’s going to end up on tonight’s recap.”

“This is just like with Ferdinand,” Donut said, her voice quavering. “Or when Odette brought out Miss Beatrice onto the show. They want us to fight.

Katia, I don’t want to fight you.”

“I know,” Katia said. “But we have a plan. A way out. It’s why I had Carl fix Yemaya’s shrine.”

Donut looked sharply over at me. “You knew?”

“No,” Katia said quickly. “He didn’t until after that fight started, and I still haven’t told him everything yet. Mordecai didn’t know either. I’m going to tell you everything now. But before I begin, I want to promise you something, Donut.” She reached down and kissed Donut on the forehead.

“You’re right. That’s exactly what they want. It’s what Eva wanted, too.

They want us to fight. That’s not going to happen. I love you, Donut. And I

will never fight you. I will die before I let that happen.”

“I love you, too,” Donut said. “But what are we going to do? Only one of us can leave the next floor.”

“We have a path. That’s what’s important. It’s not going to be easy, but a lot of the hard stuff is already out of the way.” Katia pulled a small box from her inventory and put it on the table. The box was rectangular, the size of a music box, a little smaller than the winding box from the gate. It crackled with dark energy.

The spiderweb tattoo on my elbow throbbed the moment she pulled the box out.

“It’s my prize from the celestial prize box I received at the beginning of the last floor.”

“What?” I asked, hesitantly picking the box up. “What is this? You got a celestial prize box? When? How?”

“I tried to tell you so many times, Carl. Both of you. I got it for opening the Gate of the Feral Gods and flooding Larracos. I got it at the very beginning of the sixth floor. I’ve had it in my inventory this whole time.”

I turned it over in my hand. It was light, and it appeared to be made of dark wood, carved with spiderweb patterns. Three purple, marble-sized jewels sat atop the box, each affixed with a metallic claw coming up from the wood. One of the jewels glowed. The other two looked cracked and burned- out, like spent flashbulbs.

The box had little slats in it, and I could see the item within. It was a pink flower bud. An orchid. It slid back and forth within the box, but there was no way to open it. I examined it.

Several pages of text assaulted me. I took a sharp breath when I saw the

item’s title.

Engaged Lock Box of the Night Wyrm.

“Ahh, what’s in the box? What’s in the fucking box?”

Two of three seals have been broken.

This is really two items. It’s a box, and there’s a prize within. You can see the prize, but you can’t get to it until you open the box. In order to open the box, you must break all three seals.

Here’s the prize inside the box: The Orchid of Eileithyia’s Grace.

Warning: This item can only be used by a female. Or a male, if you’re a seahorse.

It’s a flower. You’re supposed to eat it, though it might be a good decoration instead. It probably tastes like a bullshit salad at some hippie vegan restaurant with a month-long waiting list. The whole thing is a metaphor for the duality of the weakness and strength of all women or some shit. I’m not good with this stuff, and Eileithyia is a weird one. Did you know she can shoot acid milk from her nipples? Fucking weird.

Anyway, if you eat this flower, it renders you unconscious for one hour with your health at 1% of your max. You cannot heal during this time.

If you survive this ordeal, you will be given one of three permanent boons from the goddess Eileithyia. The given boon is at the discretion of the goddess, and it cannot be predicted.

If you choose to worship Eileithyia before you consume this flower, the descriptions of the boons will be expanded. She will also ask you which of the three you’d prefer. Her cooperation is not guaranteed, especially if she doesn’t like you. But Eileithyia is known to be a

generous goddess.

The three possible boons: Boon one: Your base Constitution will triple. Any future points added into Constitution will be three points instead of one. All Constitution bonuses are tripled.

In other words, you’ll be pretty much indestructible to physical damage from now on. You’ll still be vulnerable to insta-kill stuff, just FYI, but this is a good one.

Warning: This bonus will stop working if Eileithyia dies or if you th pass the 12floor. Everything already added to your base will stay.

Boon two: Celestial Attendant. You are immediately transferred to th the 12floor. You are given employment as a celestial attendant until the Ascendency games begin, at which time you are given the option to exit the dungeon or continue.

Warning: This bonus will freeze your current progress. You will be considered a temporary, non-combatant NPC. Your sponsorships and inventory will be frozen. You will immediately leave any parties. This is not a permanent position, and is not deemed a legal contract between yourself and the current showrunners. Legal advice will be available once your attendant indentureship is completed.

This might sound like a bad boon. It’s a gamble for sure, but

Celestial Attendants are usually protected from harm as long as you do what you’re told. That protection ends once the games begin, but you’re given the option to take a deal at this point.

Boon three. Your race will permanently be changed back to your birth race. You will be made pregnant. You will be given the option to choose the father. He will need to be the same race as you. Don’t worry.

You don’t have to boink him. Unless you want.

Warning: Due to the current season’s ruleset, receiving this boon will render you ineligible to continue within the game. You will be disqualified and exported to the Kinder Facility located in the former city of Mumbai, India on the surface of the planet. You will lose all future benefits of participating in Dungeon Crawler World: Earth.

“Holy shit,” I said as I moved to the next part.

Pretty cool, huh? A worthy prize for a worthy feat. But you gotta get

to it first.

Lock Box of the Night Wyrm.

The box is attuned to Crawler #9,077,265. Katia Grim. Only this crawler may complete these tasks.

This box is locked. Two of three seals have been broken. Break the final seal to open.

In order to open this box, you need to break all three seals. To break each seal, you must complete the following tasks. Don’t worry, they’re all easy. Trivial, really.

If you perish before the tasks are completed, this box will destroy the

prize within.

Completed Tasks:

Kill someone you are currently or formerly partied with.

Kill a country or level boss.

Pending Task:

Find a Guild of Suffering and complete an assassination quest. Owning this box grants temporary access to the guild.

“Holy shit,” I said for a second time as I put the box down. I slid it over

to Donut, who started reading the description.

Katia’s arms stretched, and she wrapped herself in a big, multi-loop hug, like a snake coiling around a tree. She squeezed so tight, her torso contracted.

Her hand twitched, her fingers nervously rubbing together. I recognized the gesture. I used to do the same thing when I was jonesin’ for a cigarette.

Behind her, Bautista continued to pace back and forth.

“Before I worshipped her, the three boons just said ‘Triple Constitution, You are an Attendant, and,’” she paused for a long moment. “‘You get Pregnant.’ I didn’t know what that last one meant for certain. The descriptions all changed when I finally chose to worship her, and that just happened earlier today.”

“That’s what you wanted to talk to me about at the end of the last floor,” I said. “Because of the pregnancy one.”

She hesitated. “Yes,” she finally said. “I wanted advice. Because of Eva, it would be easy to kill another crawler. I knew I’d probably be able to open the box eventually. It was only a one in three chance to get pregnant, but still… I didn’t know if it was a cruel joke, or what. I didn’t yet know that being pregnant got you out of the dungeon, but there’d been hints. Still, the thought of it… I got this crown, and everything became more urgent. Once we saw what happened to Dmitri and Maxim Popov…”

I nodded. “It’s a way out.”

“Yes,” she said.

“Pregnant?” Donut asked, having finally read the entire description. “You might get pregnant? Who would be the daddy? It can’t be Carl because he’s a primal, and it can’t be Bautista because he’s a Thundercat or whatever he is.

Are you going to choose Louis? Are you going to have a baby with Louis?

Juice Box isn’t going to like that.” She gasped. “Or maybe Li Jun? Can you imagine having Li Na as an aunt? Nobody would ever bully you.”

I almost responded, but I was remembering something that sponsor woman told me, and I felt a deep chill.

I will make certain you survive until the twelfth floor, where you and Katia and the cat will help me claim the Celestial Throne once and for all There were actually two ways out of the Sepsis Whore problem. The pregnancy boon, which would eject Katia from the game. And the Celestial th Attendant boon, which would send her straight to the 12floor, where she’d temporarily become an NPC.

“How did you come to worship Eileithyia?” I asked.

“Sponsor box. It came from Princess Formidable of the Skull Empire. A scroll of worship.”

Princess Formidable was the Maestro’s sister, and she apparently didn’t get along with the rest of her family. The fact she was still handing out sponsor boxes meant she wasn’t actually in the dungeon on the ninth floor like the rest of her family.

Katia continued. “It was an emergency box, so I read it immediately. The moment I read it, I worshipped Eileithyia, and the full description of the boons popped up. It wasn’t until then that I saw she was sponsored by that Huanxin Jinx woman. She messaged me and told me that you and Donut were about to get into a fight, and that you had to repair the shrine. If you did, th it meant she’d have extra help for her game on the 12floor. If I could talk you into doing it, she would make sure I got a boon that would allow both me and Donut to survive.”

I thought of Anton, who’d died because of that message. Of Paz.

“She told you that she’d let you pick the pregnancy boon?” th “No,” Katia said. “She wants our help on the 12floor somehow. I don’t want that boon anymore anyway. Going to the surface, with a baby? Can you imagine? I would’ve taken it, if that was the only choice. But I’ll take the Celestial Attendant boon.”

“I don’t like it,” Bautista said, talking for the first time.

“I’m not a big fan of the idea, either,” Mordecai said. “Usually, it’s a cushy gig. The way it’s set up, if you hurt an attendant, a world of pain gets thrown your way because they’re considered valuable NPCs. You’re actually not allowed to hurt them anymore because of an incident a long time ago. It still happens regularly, especially when the games begin. Attendants are almost all high-value former crawlers. The Maestro will have access to her, along with a dozen sponsors whose friends who may have gotten kicked in the financial nutsack when you flooded Larracos. Not to mention all those hunters you killed. Who knows what family members might be lurking amongst the ranks of the sponsored gods? You’d be walking into a viper den.”

“She promises she would protect me,” Katia said. “She says the other gods have better things to do than worry about a single crawler.”

“Then why is she putting so much effort into you?” Bautista asked.

“How many are there usually?” I asked. “Sponsored gods, I mean?”

Mordecai shrugged. “About a hundred or so, usually. There’s thousands

of gods, but only some of them are really equipped for the Ascendency game.

The power of the individual gods varies wildly. This new rule with the retainer minions I think is a way to even things out and possibly attract more players.”

“Wait,” Donut said. “I am so confused. So, this six-eyed Huanxin lady saw that Katia got that prize, and she sponsored Eileithyia just so, what? So she could get a servant? Is that the only reason? What do you mean by retainer minions?”

“Huanxin Jinx is a plotter,” Mordecai said. “Like Circe and Vrah, but on a different scale. It seems this season the deities are able to recruit a second, thunsponsored god to help them once the Ascendency games begin on the 12 floor. It’s less violence and more intrigue and chess. Though violence is usually involved, too. Especially at the end. While the ninth floor is the th playground of governments and the rich, the 12is where the true elites play.

The money involved is beyond anything you could believe. Some of them can be quite ruthless about how they try to claim the throne. Eileithyia’s retainer appears to be Yemaya, and Huanxin needed to find a way to get her resurrected. It’s part of the game for her. You just did that for her, and now she says she’s going to help you because of it. What else does she want you to do?”

“She wants us to hunt spiders!” Donut said. “That’s just, I don’t know, eww.”

“Sounds like she gave you a simple quest which will allow her to give you another boon without you actually having to worship her.”

“I know the winner of Faction Wars doesn’t really get anything. What about the winner of the Ascendency?” I asked.

“First off, the Faction Wars winner gets a pretty big cash prize. But they usually spend just as much getting ready for the game. I think I said this before. It’s not about the money for them but bragging rights. The winner of the Ascendency battle gets a 10-season seat on the crawl council. Sitting for thirty cycles on any subcommittee comes with a pension, so that can be pretty valuable, too. But again, the people playing this do it more for the glory. Not a one of them needs the money. The real winner of all this is the bookies.”

Donut gasped. “Wait, we get money if we win Faction Wars? How much? Carl, did you hear that?”

On the off-chance we actually won, I was pretty sure the money would actually go to Donut’s fan club, not us. Plus 15% to Quasar. But I didn’t have

the inclination to have that conversation right now.

“Tell me about her,” I said. “Huanxin.”

Mordecai’s single eye focused on me. “She’s rich, obviously. The type of rich where governments come to her when they need a loan. She is very, very intelligent. Was known as a brat when she was younger, but she’s grown into her own. She’s the CEO of a company called Icon Industries. Something to do with habitat structures. She’s a type of alien called a Grixist. She’s been playing the Ascendency game for a very long time. Ever since she was a kid, actually, but she’s never won. She got a multi-season suspension and banned from using her old goddess a long time ago because of illegal bribery.”

“Bribery?” I asked.

He nodded. “We’re not getting into it.”

“You don’t seem to like her very much.”

“I don’t. I don’t like her even a little bit. She can go fuck herself.”

The vehemence surprised me. “If you hate her so much, why did you tell me to do whatever she said?”

Mordecai leaned in. “Because the last time someone didn’t do what she wanted, my brother died. I’d rather you stay away from her, but that tailfeather already dropped.”

“My goodness, your brother? What happened?” Donut asked.

“It’s not important,” Mordecai said.

It was, actually, very important. Whatever this woman’s true motives were, they involved Odette, and we were now smack in the middle of it. I knew Mordecai well enough to know he wouldn’t freely volunteer any more info, and I couldn’t tell him the most important part… that this alien was engineering a way for Odette to get down here with the protections turned off.

None of this was going to matter if we didn’t kill all the other members of the Blood Sultanate, but that was a problem for the next floor. Right now our priority was to get the flower out of that box.

“You broke the first seal by killing Eva,” I said. “I’m assuming that second one was at the same time, when we took out Imogen?”

Katia nodded.

The final seal required her to find a place called the Guild of Suffering.

My elbow tattoo gave me access to the same place. Mordecai said it had something to do with a Samantha-like demigod named the Night Wyrm.

The box still sat on the table. My elbow throbbed every time I looked at

it. “So, we just need to find the Guild of Suffering and get you an assassination quest.”

Katia nodded. “I already found it. I already got the quest. I can’t do it by myself, and I’m going to need your help. You need to find a Desperado Club

entrance in your area.”

“You found it? Where is it?”

She grinned, the first smile I’d seen on her face in a long time. “Actually, it was Donut who helped me figure it out.”

“Me?” Donut asked.

“Donut,” Katia said. “Who do you know that has the same spiderweb tattoo as Carl on their elbow?”

“I don’t know whatever you’re talking about, Katia. I don’t associate with people with disgusting prison tattoos. I only tolerate Carl because he’s family.”

One normally got the tattoo from using the Ring of Divine Suffering. I only knew of one other living crawler with the tattoo.

“Prepotente has one,” I said.

“That’s not who I’m talking about,” Katia said, “But that’s good to know.

Donut, he’s an NPC. An NPC you know very well.”

“I don’t hang out with riffraff, Katia.”

“Really?”

Donut scoffed. “Well, you can’t mean Damascus Steel. He doesn’t count.

He’s a stripper!”

Katia nodded. “The entrance is at the Penis Parade on the top floor of the Desperado Club. The whole strip club is a front for the Guild of Suffering.”

“What?” Donut asked. “He never told me that! This is an outrage! Why would a stripper lie to me?”

“You already got an assassination quest?” I asked, trepidation rising.

“Who’s the target?”

Katia pulled a strange slip of paper and slid it over to me.

“Nobody touch it except Carl. If you aren’t a member of the Guild of Suffering, it stings your hand if you touch it. Even in a saferoom. Only members of the guild can read it and assist me with it. You can’t say the name of the target out loud, or I fail the quest.”

I hesitantly picked it up. I realized it wasn’t a piece of paper, but a dried slip of skin covered with desiccated veins. The dry, rigid flap of membrane was small, about the size of a pack of cigarettes. As I held it, I felt a pinprick

of pain on my finger, and my blood flowed into the skin. The veins on the skin pulsed with my heartbeat, forming words in a strange, tributary-like

language.

New Achievement! Secondary Gig!

You’re getting another job? On top of everything else? Yeah, that’s a great idea. It’s not like you have enough on your plate already. If you weren’t constantly getting healed, your blood pressure would be through the roof! It’s not like the crushing demands of the modern dungeon are making it more difficult to survive when it should be going the opposite way.

You know, I’m pretty sure nobody, on their deathbeds, ever said to themselves, “Man, I wished I’d worked even more in life.”

Reward: A new tab is now available in your interface. It is a sub-tab

of quests.

Guild Jobs.

I pushed the achievement away and tried to read the tiny words on the skin, but I couldn’t understand the language. The system read it for me. It came in a hissing, evil voice I hadn’t heard before, spoken in my mind. It reminded me of a naga voice, but a little more high-pitched. I shuddered.

The Night Wyrm has a task for you, my little darling.

This task has been assigned to my beautiful, budding poppet, Katia.

You are not her, and that means you’ve killed her in order to take over her jobs, or she has enlisted a family member to assist her with her task.

Either scenario is acceptable. The family with many eyes works as a team, yes. We sacrifice the weak to support the many, yes. We rise from the shadows. Our blood flows together.

Your task is before you, my sweet. A difficult task, yes. But an important one. Important for the family.

We wish to remove the competition. She serves dual roles. She keeps our family in the ground. She keeps our blood dry. You must kill her.

The owner of the Naughty Boys Employment Agency. The assistant manager of the Desperado Club. She is one. Astrid. Kill her. Bring her

lifeless body to the family.

New Guild Job.

Kill Astrid, level 125 Bloodlust Sprite, Assistant Manager of the Desperado Club. Proof of death is required.

This job is owned by Crawler Katia Grim. You must kill her to claim

the reward for this job.

Speaking the details of this job out loud will immediately cancel the contract and revoke access to the guild.

Katia gave me an uncertain grin.

“Hey, I warned you it wasn’t going to be easy.”

“Shit,” I said. I read the slip of skin a second time.