The Eye of the Bedlam Bride — Chapter no 17

[ 17 ]

“HOLY SHIT, SISTER,” I SAID AS WE BACKED AWAY FROM THE FORM OF the first goddess. “Did you know that was going to work?”

She didn’t have a chance to answer.

You are in the presence of two deities. The Scavenger’s Daughter has opened her eyes. She fills with power.

Temporary effect from Yemaya: All healing skills and spells cost no mana. They have no cooldown.

Temporary effect from Eileithyia: All damage you strike against female opponents is quartered. All female members of your party strike with a melee power of 500%. Girl power, bitches!

The first of the two gods to physically appear was Yemaya, who came straight from the fountain. She emerged, rising from the water, splashing us all. A notification appeared. A temporary buff.

“She’s the Starbucks logo!” Donut hissed.

Yemaya was a stunningly beautiful, dark-skinned mermaid. She didn’t have the harsh facial features of a full naiad, nor the vampire fangs. But she did have the neck gills and pointed ears and large eyes, and I was immediately reminded of both Samantha and the late Signet. She was topless, and water flowed from her pendulous breasts, flowing back into the fountain below her, like each nipple was a spigot. She split at the waist, and she had two bodies, or tails, which was really bizarre. Donut was right. It was just like the Starbucks coffee logo woman. The two, scaled mermaid bodies curved up behind her, contained in the fountain like a giant fish in a much- too-small bowl. The twin tail fins arched up into the air and met at the tip, making a heart pattern behind her.

Not a mermaid, I realized, staring at the goddess. A siren.

Goddess of Rivers Yemaya. Level 250.

This is a locked deity. She will not be sponsored this season.

This goddess is a retainer of Eileithyia.

Warning: This is a deity. She is invulnerable on this floor.

This goddess is within her own temple. Temple appearance rules apply.

That means watch the fuck out.

Yemaya once was the goddess of all oceans, all bodies of water big and small. But she was more than that, too. She was the queen of love and the bringer of life. But, eventually, her people died off, her temples crumbled, and she was forgotten by all except her dear friend, the goddess Eileithyia, who wished every day that her old friend would someday come back from the land of the forgotten.

Now that Yemaya has re-ascended into the Halls, she will have a lot of work to do to make certain nobody ever forgets her name again. She’s an unlikely candidate to claim the throne, but she would work tirelessly for her good friend Eileithyia, should she desire such a burden.

A god that’s a retainer of another god? What did that mean? Just as I finished examining the description, the second goddess appeared. This was Eileithyia, who formed in the center of the room, atop the shattered tiles where Ogun had appeared. I twisted to examine the newcomer.

This one did not look like a goddess. Just a regular-sized alien dressed up for a costume party.

She obviously was from a different pantheon than Yemaya. I knew the “real” Eileithyia was a goddess from Greek myth, but this was some hairy alien thing. I could only tell she was female because it said so.

I’d seen this type of alien before at CrawlCon and in the audience at various shows, but I didn’t know what they were called. They were hairy, covered with blue and black hairs that looked coarse to the touch. About five feet tall. Bipedal with six black eyes, arranged in a V-pattern on her bug-like face. She had four arms with three fingers on each end. She had a long, thin neck that made it appear as if her head might tumble off and away at any moment. Her body was thin except for an extended belly, which made her look very pregnant. She wore a blood-red toga and had a laurel leaf upon her head.

I tensed when I saw the note next to the goddess’s name. She was sponsored. She was being driven by someone. Someone named Huanxin Jinx.

I’d never heard the name before.

I realized she wasn’t wearing her soul armor. This was who she really

was. I knew the sponsors could do that. Appear as they really were.

The siren goddess Yemaya looked sadly down at the corpse of Anton.

“He killed him in my own temple. I’ll have to do something about that.” She looked over to Eileithyia, ignoring us for the moment. “My dear friend. I have missed you so. Thank you for remembering me.”

Eileithyia was looking directly at me. I took a nervous step back. We were in danger here. I didn’t know who this was or her affiliation. Her eyes turned in their sockets, like camera lenses focusing. If she wanted us dead, we were fucked. I examined her.

Goddess of Childbirth and Female Pain Eileithyia. Level 250.

Sponsored by Huanxin Jinx of the Grixist Swarm, CEO of Icon Industries.

Warning: This is a deity. She is invulnerable on this floor.

This goddess has been temporarily summoned to this location.

Summoning rules apply.

Eileithyia is something of an oddity. She’s benevolent. Unlike most of these psychos, she’s known for her kind heart. She’s prayed to by all mothers, both when they’re attempting to sow the seeds and when the harvest comes. And while she does many things, she’s mostly known as She Who Eases Pain. Both the physical pain of childbirth and the inevitable darkness that comes to those who are unable to complete their most sacred task. When the stillness comes, she is not the one who has caused the heartbreak. But she is the one holding the grieving mother’s hand.

She’s not known to be someone who seeks the throne, which likely makes her one of the most qualified of the deities to claim the title.

Hopefully her sponsor this season is someone who shares the same grace as her character.

The alien goddess took a step toward us. She briefly put her hand on my shoulder, and then she scratched Donut. Mongo whined uncertainly. The goddess’s entire body crackled with energy.

I received another buff notification. Rapid healing. I took that as a hopeful sign.

Without saying anything to us, she turned to face the other goddess.

“Hello, Yemaya. Yes, Ogun insulted you by shedding blood in your own temple. We’ll make certain the council hears about it. But that’s for later.

Right now we both have gifts for these crawlers, do we not?”

“Crawlers?” Yemaya asked, looking at the three of us plus Mongo and Bomo, who stood behind us, rock mouth hanging open in awe. “Yes, yes we do. There was one more. Where did he run off to? Did Ogun slay him as well?”

I looked at the card still clutched in Sister Ines’ hand. It disappeared into her inventory.

“He’s not here anymore,” Sister Ines whispered.

I couldn’t stop thinking about Paz, about what he said.

Let me go.

The idea of turning a person into a card hadn’t even occurred to me.

Could he feel it? How did that even work? Was he just sitting there, on the edge of death in some room, like a genie in a lamp? Or would he blink and suddenly be on the battlefield the next time Sister Ines summoned him? It was so wrong, so grotesque, it made me ill to just think about it.

We need to tear that card.

“I have you to thank for repairing my shrine,” Yemaya was saying. She was talking to Bomo.

Before she finished, another slug popped, this one coming from my arm.

Mongo snapped at it and missed. It hit the ground and looked up at Yemaya.

“Fuck the gods!” the slug cried.

The ground opened up under it, a hole no bigger than my fist, and the slug disappeared, screaming into the darkness.

“Uh,” I said. “I can’t control that.”

Yemaya’s eyes fixed on me. “I know the condition you suffer from. It is from my brother. He did it on purpose, just so you know. Strand himself here, I mean. He feigns innocence, but he always knew what he was doing. I’m glad you saw him for what he was. As to the slugpox, a healer can fix that.

You should probably address it quickly.” Her twin, back tails fluttered.

“Now, take these as a token of my gratitude. One for you, brave Sister Ines, and one for you, beautiful Princess Donut.”

The card appeared floating in midair in front of Donut. She gasped and reached out and took it before I could examine it. It had the black border of mythical rareness, the second highest quality, only behind the orange unique cards.

“Thank you, your goddess-ness!” Donut said, voice full of wonder.

“Carl, It’s a mystic card,” she shout-whispered. “We have all five kinds now. It lets us steal a card from someone else! It’s not even consumable. It’s

great. It’s called The Thief!”

I’d only heard of a few people finding mystic cards so far. They were like magic spells that directly affected gameplay somehow, unlike a utility card which would affect just one totem or a special card, which was usually a consumable, one-time effect on the caster.

Yemaya laughed and clapped her hands. “I am glad you enjoy it, little Donut. I can’t help but see you haven’t given yourself to a goddess yet.

Perhaps I can entice you into worshipping at my altar? There may be more prizes in it for you.”

“Uh, I’ll have to think about it,” Donut said. “But thank you so very much.”

Yemaya nodded and pointed at Bomo. “You. Come here.”

Bomo grunted and stepped forward. His feet splashed in the water overflowing from the fountain.

She reached forward and put a webbed hand on his shoulder. “You are

the one who constructed my shrine.”

“It easy. Easier than Tetris.”

“If it is in my power, I will give you what you desire. What do you want?”

Bomo thought for a moment. “Maybe more games,” he finally said. He paused. “No. The Sledge. I miss my friend.”

“You miss your friend? Then you shall be reunited! Where is he?”

“Larracos,” Bomo said.

“It is done,” Yemaya said, and without a word, Bomo blinked and

disappeared.

He was gone, just like that.

Motherfuck.

Mongo whimpered.

I exchanged a look with Donut. Did that just happen? She’d teleported Bomo to the ninth floor. We needed him, needed his spell to get us to the stairwell. Goddamnit.

“I, too, have a boon for each of you,” Eileithyia said. “And a quest for Carl, who worships my good friend, Emberus.”

I straightened. “I didn’t know god quests were a thing when you already worshiped another god.”

The hairy alien woman smiled, and I suddenly felt uneasy.

She raised her hand, and a soft, yellow light filled the temple.

The light of grace fills you with peace. You have been granted a floor boon. This boon will remain in place for the remainder of this floor as long as you remain in Eileithyia’s grace. She may revoke this boon at any

time.

Protection from Spiritual Possession.

10% Healing speed.

Plus 10% Constitution.

“Wow,” Donut said. “This is fantastic. You’re both great goddesses.

Much better than all the other ones we’ve met so far.”

“Now, Carl,” Eileithyia said. “One more item. This is just for your party.”

New Quest! Spiders.

Warning: This quest comes from a deity you do not worship. You are not required to complete this quest, but they might not like it if you ignore them.

Kill five spiders in my name every day until I ask you to stop.

Reward: You will receive another boon from me.

This quest, all except the warning part, came in Eileithyia’s voice.

“Uh,” I said, exchanging a look with Donut.

“Kill spiders?” Donut asked, confused. “Does it have to be a specific type of spider, or will any do? I saw a small one earlier outside, sitting on one of those tombstones, but I’m not sure if it’s really here or if it’s a part of the memory thing.”

“The memory thing isn’t happening in the cemetery, remember?”

“Oh yeah,” Donut said. “This is going to be really easy.”

Eileithyia: Carl, the system is not allowed to monitor this message.

Do not respond, because they can see your response. This is a deity message, and it will disappear. That quest is just a cover. It allows me to send you messages, and it’s a workaround that gives me the ability to award your party another boon. If you want to save Katia and Donut, listen to me. That quest I gave isn’t the real quest, though you still need to complete it. If you understand what I’m saying, scratch your left arm.

I went stiff. Just as I finished reading the message, another slug popped out. Mongo managed to get this one, but I noted he actually had to chew this time. I also took the time to copy and paste the message into my scratchpad. I knew from Emberus that she was correct. The god messages went away the moment you closed them, but it did allow you to copy and paste.

I scratched my left arm.

Eileithyia: Good. When Odette gets into orbit, she is going to offer to be your Faction Wars team Adjutant. She’s only doing this because she believes there’s no way you will get the votes to turn off the team protections. She believes your real goal is for you to compromise and have the protections turned on for all the crawlers on the ninth floor.

That was absolutely true, but I hadn’t said that out loud to anybody. The message continued.

When Odette makes this offer, I want you to accept it. If you do this, I will make certain you have the votes to turn the protections off on the ninth floor. I’ve watched you long enough to know you’d prefer this outcome. I know what you really seek.

They will never allow the crawlers to be safe, just so you know, so you aren’t losing anything by helping me.

I will graciously clear this issue with the Crown of the Sepsis Whore as well. You’ve just seen what a goddess in her own temple can do, how she transferred that cretin to the ninth floor. A deity in their own temple has more powers than even the AI in some cases.

Do not tell anybody about this conversation. Not out loud. Not using that obvious bathroom system. Nobody. Not the cat and especially not Odette or Mordecai. Do not discuss this with Katia, though she knows of this deal. She’ll explain to you what she can, but this part of the bargain is between you and me, and that’s it. If you mention any of this, the deal is off, and I will make certain everyone you’ve ever known and loved is pounded into dirt.

But if you do everything I ask, you will have found a forever friend in me, both during your crawl and after. I will make certain you survive until the twelfth floor, where you and Katia and the cat will help me claim the Celestial Throne once and for all, and after, you will be given a most generous exit plan. I help my friends, Carl. I utterly destroy my enemies.

Ask Mordecai about me. He knows. Just don’t tell him about our deal or this conversation.

If you agree, I want you to tell the cat it’s time for you to get that disgusting slugpox cured.

I took a very, very deep breath. It was a lot. A whole lot. What had Katia gotten us embroiled in? What did this woman have to do with Odette?

I copied and pasted the conversation into my secret notepad before it

disappeared.

“Donut,” I said. “I need to get into the temple and get this slug thing taken care of as soon as possible.”

Carl: Donut, I need you to get to a saferoom. I don’t want you alone with Sister Ines.

Donut: OKAY BUT YOU GOTTA ASK KATIA WHAT’S GOING ON. SHE WON’T TELL ME ANYTHING. SHE’S ACTING WEIRD.

“My… my goddess!” a new voice cried. We all turned to see a newcomer had entered the temple. He looked just like a regular ghommid, but he was now acting like any old NPC. This one was a squat man wearing ethereal robes. He looked almost human except for a bushy tail. He fell to his knees, and he started to weep.

“I’m assuming he’s blubbering over you, Yemaya, and not me,”

Eileithyia said. “I will take my leave. I’ll see you in the halls.” And then the goddess just disappeared.

I could feel yet another slug was about to pop out of me. Yemaya looked at me and pointed to the entrance to the Club Vanquisher. “You better get within,” the goddess said as she faded out of existence.

Both deities have left the realm.

The Scavenger’s Daughter has closed her eyes. The benefit fades and will completely dissipate over the next ten minutes.

Sister Ines was kneeled by Anton’s body. She’d just looted everything he had. She stood and stormed from the temple, stepping over the NPC, who remained on the ground. She didn’t say another word to either of us. I called out for her to wait, but she ignored me. She went out into the night and disappeared.

The boil, this one on the back of my hand, popped and splatted onto the floor. This slug had what looked like a little hatchet glued to its side. It squealed as Mongo snapped it in half.

Donut and I moved to the entrance of the temple, also stepping around the crying ghommid. Several of the NPCs stood outside, milling about, as if in shock. The town had transformed, though it remained a graveyard. All the tombs had turned into shops. I could no longer see Sister Ines, but we watched her dot move to the entrance to the cemetery, and she went back out into Havana.

“Poor Anton and Paz,” Donut said. She gave me a pointed look.

“Especially Paz.”

“Oh, just say it,” I said.

“I told you so, Carl,” Donut said. “I told you. Now we’re going to be worried about her the whole time.” She started grumbling again about Havana browns.

I sighed. I sent a message to Katia to meet us in the saferoom, but to not say anything to Donut until I got back.

Donut gave me a side head bonk. “Now hurry up and get that taken care of. You’re going to give Mongo a stomach ache, and it’s absolutely revolting.”