The Eye of the Bedlam Bride — Chapter no 11

[ 11 ]

NEW ACHIEVEMENT! INTERLOPER!

You invited a red-tagged NPC boss into a saferoom, and he actually managed to get inside!

Doesn’t your culture have a whole set of cautionary tales and movies about inviting mysterious strangers into your home? You know, the whole vampire thing? The Hand that Rocks the Cradle? Single White Female 2: The Psycho?

It’s probably not in your best interests to keep doing such things.

Reward: You’ve received a bronze Stranger Danger box!

“Hey!” Donut said. “We didn’t invite him in! He came in on his own!”

At the far end of the bar, the bopca started shouting for the man to get out.

We just stared at the newcomer. Mongo growled and bristled.

I held out my arms in alarm. “Donut,” I said. “Keep him steady!” The last thing we needed was Mongo getting teleported away.

“No, Mongo. No!” Donut shouted as the dinosaur whined like a dog.

Despite his marker on the map, the creature did not seem hostile. The combat notification didn’t start. I remembered Mordecai had once told me that mobs could enter saferooms. They only teleported away when they actually attacked. I’d never really thought about how that worked with smart mobs.

The mob was a hair shorter than me, but he had an electric presence that filled the room. I still could not see his face. The well-muscled man looked like someone that had been plucked straight from some sort of tribal ceremony. The only flesh I could see was his arms, legs, and washboard stomach. His skin was bone white, almost translucent, as if it had been drained of all color and life. He wore a straw skirt that went down to his

knees, and the headdress completely blocked his features, almost like he was wearing a second grass skirt on his head. Or a lampshade that went halfway down his chest. Little tendrils of fire flecked up off his bare feet and legs. The strange wand thing in his hand was a stick of reeds held together with colorful string and decorated with seashells. The man’s stench filled the room, and it was like that of a rotting corpse.

“Oh my god,” Donut exclaimed. She made a little hacking noise. “Just because you’re undead doesn’t mean you shouldn’t use deodorant. I mean,

really.”

I examined the creature.

Asojano – Orisha

Level 130 City Boss.

This is a non-corporeal spirit.

Also known as the Lord of Smallpox, Asojano is one of the most respected and feared of the Orishas, a former god made flesh upon the rise of the Ascendency.

As the worshippers of these gods grew more and more extinct, their temples crumbled, and the power of these former deities waned.

Eventually, they faded into nothing, slipping away beyond the veil, becoming nothing more than any other ghommid, only able to visit the physical world on occasion.

One day, not so long ago, Asojano found himself here in this small town, visiting the world he once helped rule. There was no malice to his actions. He came just so he could look upon what he once had and what he had lost.

Still, power lingers, even in the most forgotten of shells.

Asojano is disease incarnate. He kills, and he heals. He is life, and he is death. He also wears a reed hat that makes it difficult to see where he’s

going, so he bumps into stuff a lot.

Lord of Smallpox? I thought. Uh-oh.

A health bar appeared over the creature all on its own, and it started to very slowly creep downward. None of us were doing anything.

“Santero,” the monster rumbled, his voice heavy and odd and ancient. I remembered Ifechi’s and Queen Imogen’s voice, and it reminded me of a male version of that. He was talking directly to Paz. “You must assist me.

These spirits have been plagued by my presence, and I need your help. I am trapped here, and you can help me free them.”

“Uh,” Paz said.

The door remained open, and a group of ghommids arrived. They all teleported away, one after another as they groaned and shuffled their way into the room. The bopca continued to scream and wave his arms. The gnome guy was wearing a chef’s hat. I stepped to the side around the orisha and kicked the door, shutting it.

That ended up being a mistake because the moment the door closed, the stench doubled in intensity. We all started to back up as Donut continued to make hacking noises.

His dot remained red, which was unusual.

The orisha had a barely-visible, moss-colored aura that radiated about twelve inches all around him. I suspected if any of us moved within the aura, we’d get hit with some sort of nasty disease. I didn’t know how that would work in a saferoom, and I didn’t want to find out.

The man stepped forward toward Paz. The floor sizzled where he stepped, reminding me of Bianca, Prepotente’s goat dragon pet thing. His health continued to lower.

“Don’t get closer,” I said to the man as we all took another step back.

“Your name is Asojano, right? If you get closer, you’re going to teleport away.” I didn’t know if that was true or not, but it sounded good. “So, you’re the reason all these ghommid guys have gone crazy?”

Asojano turned to face me. He paused for a long moment before speaking. He was trembling, I realized. With anger? With fear? I couldn’t tell. “You dare? You dare speak my name? We only speak through the priest, or I will have your crops withering and your skin bubbling and your ancestors cursed through eternity.” He waved the wand thing at me. I was expecting it to cast something or for him to teleport away, but neither happened. The man paused and looked down at the wand, as if he, too, was surprised it didn’t work.

“Oh, sweetie,” Donut said. “You think we care if you can kill our crops?

Carl does that all on his own.” She looked up to me. “Do you remember the aloe vera plant incident? Miss Beatrice was most displeased with you. She was only gone for two days.”

“That was you!” I said. “You knocked it over and pulled it out!”

“Well, you should have watched me better.”

I kept looking back and forth between this Asojano guy and Paz. Sister Ines looked as if she was about to attack him. Anton had returned from the

bar. He downed a drink, put the glass on the table, and placed a hand on Sister Ines’s shoulder, presumably in an attempt to calm her. It was a strange juxtaposition as she was usually the calm one.

Paz remained frozen, his mouth hanging open.

Carl: Paz, you need to say something. Don’t just sit there. Try to find out as much as you can.

“Uh,” Paz said again. “What exactly do you need me to do?”

“Go to the temple in the center of town and fix my shrine. It will allow me to leave this place.”

“That’s a Club Vanquisher,” I said. “Do you guys have access?”

“Yes,” Anton said. “All three of us do, but we don’t like going there unless we have to. Sister Ines refuses to go inside. But does it matter? It ain’t

really open yet.”

Quest Update! Pueblo de los Olvidados.

An Orisha is the source of the ghommid infection. He used the last remaining power of his shrine to enter town, and he’s unable to leave.

The vile power of his presence has altered the minds of the town’s residents, turning them mad. Remove him to free the town.

You need to go to the temple in the center of the town, find the correct shrine, and “repair” it. That’ll work. Uh, maybe. Or you can kill this guy. He doesn’t look too tough. Or you can just kill everybody. That might be fun.

Asojano shook his wand thing again, like he was trying to get a remote control with a dead battery to work. He slapped it against his hand.

Paz: What do I do?

Anton: His health is going down on its own. Wait until it’s 5%, and

I’ll flag him.

Paz: Will that work in here?

Carl: I doubt it. Tell him you’ll help. But stall. See what happens.

Paz shifted nervously, his armor clanking. “So, Mr. Asojano? We can help, but we can’t get to the temple. There’s too many of them. Can you help us get there?”

The creature nodded. “Exit tonight when the sun descends. My power is greater at night. The sickness affects them more, and they’ll be stronger as well, but my ability to hold them back will also be increased. I cannot control them at all now. Once you repair my shrine, I will have the power to leave.”

“In the dark?” Donut asked, dubious. “You want us to go out there and

fight them in the dark?”

The monster’s health turned red. Next to me, Anton pulled a flag from his inventory. He had it in his hand. I thought about it for a moment, trying to determine if I wanted to fight them for this guy. He seemed powerful, but if he was a poison-based monster, his abilities probably worked slowly, and these monster totems would only be summoned for a limited amount of time.

“You are a false god,” Sister Ines said suddenly. She spit the words. Her hand/paw things were on her head, and she was making a weird kneading motion. Her voice went up in pitch, and she sounded strangely terrified. Her eyes were clenched shut. “This is too much. Our souls… our souls can’t handle this. Anton, no. No. I can’t take it. Don’t do it. Let Carl’s team take him.”

“He is strong, sister,” Anton said. “We’ve gone over this… It’s all make believe. It’s not…”

“It’s too much,” Sister Ines said, interrupting. “Please. No. No more false gods. Not again.”

Anton and Paz gave each other a nervous glance. Donut gave me a I-told- you-she-was-crazy look.

In the end, it didn’t matter. When the creature’s health was about 10%, he turned and opened the door to the outside. A massive horde of monsters remained outside, and they squealed and started throwing themselves at the entrance, zapping away as they did.

He took a step outside, and his health started to rise. “Tonight. Come,” he said without turning back to us.

I moved to close the door, leaving us alone in the room. His scent lingered, heavy in the air.

“I know what you’re about to say, and we are not flagging that guy, Carl.

His presence makes me want to hurl. The princess posse will not like us having a rotting stink factory in the party. I don’t care how powerful he is.

And I told you that Havana browns are unstable. What did I say?”

We were back in our personal space. We had to go on our program in a little bit anyway, which would give us time to get ready. We would all meet again in a few hours after the sun went down. In the meantime, Mordecai was hard at work making us some anti-undead bombs that would help us clear the

way out of the saferoom. Our supplies were dwindling, but thankfully Li Jun’s team had found a Desperado Club in their area, and they were getting some supplies for us. They were all marveling at how big the middle floor of the Desperado Club was, something we’d only gotten to see a fraction of on the last floor because of the hunters.

“There’s definitely something going on there in her head,” I said. “She’s really into the idea of killing undead creatures, but she’s terrified of the idea of other gods.”

“Well, it reminds me of Miss Beatrice’s mother, and I don’t like that.

She’s letting her religion make her act stupid. She’s crazy. You know how I feel about crazy, Carl.”

I reached up to pet the cat. “There’s nothing wrong with being religious or spiritual, Donut. Bautista and Imani are both really religious.” I didn’t add that half the authors of the cookbook were also deeply pious, though their faiths were as varied as the stars in the sky. “But it’s like anything. Some people take it too far. Some people get a little carried away, and they get so caught up in the rules that they end up forgetting what their faith teaches.

Sister Ines acts strong, but I think she’s overwhelmed. The idea of ‘worshipping’ deities, even in this environment, upsets her. Either way, it’s a sensitive subject for some people, and it’s not really our business. We don’t know what’s going on in her head. It’s not our place to judge her for it.”

“Oh, I’m judging her. If she’s going to freak out every time some god or half-god shows up, then I don’t want to be anywhere near her. It makes her untrustworthy and dangerous.”

I sighed. Donut had a point. It didn’t matter now, anyway. We were stuck with them until we could get out of here. I wasn’t super worried about being trapped in this town now that we knew how to get out. If it came down to it, I could build an undead-killing bomb that’d wipe out the entire population.

“Either way,” I said, “I think we should try to flag one of the regular ghommids before we fix the shrine. I didn’t think they were strong enough at first, but that ice attack of theirs is really powerful. I’m resistant to ice attacks, and it still worked on me.”

“That’s because it’s not a regular ice attack when it’s from an undead creature,” Mordecai said, walking into the room. He had chocolate all over his face. “Now open your boxes and then get ready for your show.”

Donut and I both had fan boxes to open. Mine, a gold fan box, had come from near the end of the previous floor when I’d first met Imogen, but I

hadn’t opened the achievement until yesterday. Donut had received hers—a platinum fan box—when she sang during the Butcher’s Masquerade. Both boxes were finally ready.

The main room of our personal space was unusually messy when we entered. The cleaner bot was making angry noises as it swept through, picking up candy wrappers and scrubbing stains off the counter that looked like ice cream.

Mongo sniffed at a half-empty bag of Doritos. He picked up the bag and started shaking it, spreading Dorito bits everywhere, scattering them like confetti. The cleaner bot let out a shrill tone.

“Mongo, no! Bomo, were you and Mordecai having a party in here?”

Donut asked as she jumped to the counter. She lifted up her foot, and it came back sticky. She made a face. “If you’re going to have guests over, you know the rules. I have to be invited.”

Bomo looked back from the television and made a noncommittal grunt.

He was playing Smash on the newly put-together Gamecube console. I hadn’t yet built a controller adapter for him, but apparently Mordecai had beaten me to it.

Mordecai had a strange, sheepish look on his dumb face I couldn’t read.

Before I could press him on it, Donut opened up the first of her boxes.

She had three boxes. A gold T’Ghee box she’d gotten for using the practice room, her platinum fan box, and the bronze Stranger Danger box.

The bronze box contained an old, expired tube of mace designed to be attached to a keychain. It had no magical properties whatsoever. It was just a joke prize.

The gold box contained a single card. Our first snare card. A “very rare,” consumable card called Hobbled.

I picked the card up. It featured a pair of legs tied together. The card reduced a totem’s summoning time by 90%. If the totem card timed out and returned to the opponent’s deck, they could resummon the monster once they pulled it again, but the 90% time reduction would persist through combat.

That was a pretty big deal. If a monster was normally summoned for a full minute, it would make it so it’d remain for only six seconds. That would make all but the most powerful monsters useless. Too bad the card was

consumable.

Donut gasped as the fan box opened.

I exchanged a look with Mordecai.

“Oh my god. Oh my god! Thank you! Thank you!” she cried, bouncing up and down with excitement. “Carl, look! Look what my Princess Posse

voted on for me!”

“Don’t you have one of those already?”

“This is a real one! The one I used at the party was a prop!” She gasped again. “Look, there’s a purple jewel on it. Do they know me or what? I’m going to look just like Britney! The real Britney, not the crawler.”

“Oh, thank the gods,” Mordecai said after a moment. He looked at me and nodded. “It’s a good one. Sort of. Donut, keep it in your inventory and only equip it when you’re singing. Otherwise… yeah.”

The item appeared on the table, and I gingerly picked it up as Donut continued to rain enthusiastic praise on her fans.

“It’s not considered a hat?” I asked.

“No,” Mordecai said. It’s a face accessory. Like your bandana.”

The AI’s voice took on a weird, electronic cadence as it read the description.

The Bard’s Golden Throat – Enchanted Headset Microphone.

Nuclear power. The airplane. Transistors. Antibiotics.

Important inventions and discoveries of the 1900’s that changed the world.

But those were nothing, absolutely nothing, compared to the greatest invention of the century.

It happened in September of 1997. That was the day it all changed.

That was the day a company called Antares Audio Technologies released into the wild a piece of software that finally cured a horrific disability that’d been plaguing young men and women for a millennia.

The disability? Tone deafness.

The cure? It was called AutoTune.

With the advent of the real-time vocal synthesizer, underprivileged youths such as T-Pain, Kayne, and Ke$ha were finally able to crawl out from underneath their ordinary lives and become the shining stars they were destined to be. At the same time, aging musicians, *cough* like Cher, were able to keep their stars aloft just a little longer, proving once and for all that nothing, not even the lack of natural talent, could stop the upward momentum of technology.

This golden, amethyst-encrusted microphone imbues the following benefits when it is equipped:

The Golden Throat enhancement. Automatically tunes songs within one and a half steps of correct note. Assists in the proper formation of all bard-based songs and spells.

Amplification. While equipped, all spoken words and songs are amplified at twice the normal volume. This can be increased to up to five

times of top volume.

Charisma plus 5% when equipped.

“Isn’t it fantastic!” Donut said. She took it back, and it poofed onto her head with little, purple sparkles. The moment she equipped it, her voice modulated and increased in volume. “Oh, I just love it.” She paused. “Wow…

Carl, it sounds like I’m talking through a fan. Oh look, I can make my voice

even louder!”

Mongo screeched.

I looked up at the ceiling. “Yeah, thanks,” I said. To Donut, I added, “let’s keep that as a secret weapon.”

“Yes, I suppose you’re right,” Donut said. The headset, thankfully, disappeared into her inventory. “I’ll keep it in my hotlist, and I can add it when I need a little extra oomph. Or when you’re not paying attention to me properly. Now open yours, Carl.”

I grunted and pulled out my boxes. I had a couple of adventurer boxes for taking damage from undead. I hadn’t realized my goat patch I’d gotten just before the vampire quest on the previous floor had actually muted some of the damage from the ghommid’s freeze attack. It’d probably saved my arm.

There wasn’t anything good in any of the first boxes. I got the same tube of mace. Then came the fan box.

It cracked and whirred with the usual amount of gusto. Sparkles and a

puff of smoke appeared.

Pop!

“Uh,” I said, looking at the coupon. I picked it up. It was a small clip of paper that looked as if it had been poorly cut out of a newspaper. It featured a cartoon of a topless orc woman on her stomach atop a table. The word

“RELAX!” was written on the top.

I examined it.

Massage coupon!

Has work been getting you down? Feeling stressed? Do you and your girlfriends need a break? This coupon entitles you, plus one companion!, a free, relaxing, one-hour massage at either the Penis Parade or the Penis

Palace Back Room Relaxation Spa in the Desperado Club. Includes optional aromatherapy and chemical* peel.

“Extras” and tip not included.

“Uh,” I said again.

Donut gasped. “It says you can bring a companion! That’s me! I’m your companion! The Penis Palace! Carl, we can go to the Penis Palace! We haven’t had a chance to go there yet! This is almost as good as my prize!”

The Penis Palace was the male strip club on the middle floor of the Desperado Club, as opposed to the seedier Penis Parade on the first floor

where Donut usually went.

“Uh,” I said for a third time.

Right at that moment, Katia and Bautista walked into the room.

“Knock, knock,” Katia said, peeking her head in through the door to the guild hall.

“Hi, Katia!” Donut said. “No, No. Wait. Let me do that again.”

The headset popped onto her head.

“Hi, Katia! Hi, Katia’s boyfriend,” she repeated. Her voice boomed electronically. “Look at my prize! And I think the Posse voted on Carl’s prize, too!”

“I can see that,” Katia said, laughing as Mongo danced around them.

“There’s no possibility of that getting old fast. What did Carl get?”

“You sound like T-Pain,” a new voice said before Donut could answer. A third crawler came into the room.

“Louis!” Donut cried. She put her headset away and leaped across the room and landed on his shoulder. “Louis, how are you?”

“Uh, I’m okay. I’m doing better,” he said. He reached up and gave her an awkward pat. “We’re in Iceland.”

“I know. I heard,” Donut said. “Is it cold and covered in ice?”

“Yeah, actually it is,” he said. “I always heard they named Iceland and Greenland backward to make people want to go to the wrong place, but we’re in Reykjavik and it’s very snowy and icy. It’s pretty, though.”

“It is Christmastime,” Donut said. “I wanted to go to Ibiza, but Carl insisted on Cuba.”

“I did not!” I said, putting my massage coupon away. “You picked the

wrong place.”

“I bet it’s nice outside,” Louis said.

He was acting normal, but I could sense it there, hidden in the back of his

voice. There was a hollowness that wasn’t there before, like just a little bit of life had been drained out of him. Firas had been his best friend.

“Oh, it’s okay. There are disgusting street dogs everywhere. But I suppose the weather’s not too bad for December.” She paused. “How’s Britney doing? Is her face still all… you know.”

“Her face hasn’t healed,” Louis said, whispering. “But she’s been going out there on her own. She’s rising in levels really fast all of a sudden. Last floor she didn’t want to fight at all, but now she’s working really hard.”

Katia was looking down at all the wrappers on the floor. The cleaner bot still zipped around, picking them up.

“Well, I hope she feels better soon,” Donut said, “and I hope she’s not on the path to being a super villain. Mongo really likes her.”

Louis nodded. “Yeah, it’s been hard. Langley and all those other car salesmen guys and Gwen and Firas. Almost everyone who was in the bubble with us on the fifth floor, they all died on the sixth.”

Donut nodded sadly. “That reminds me, how’s Tran doing?”

Bautista answered. “He’s much better, too. It’s taken him some time to get used to not having legs, but he’s like the rest of us. Resilient.”

Katia’s squad was her, Bautista, Louis, Britney, and Tran. She had a ton of other people in her actual party, but they hadn’t chosen Iceland.

Apparently there was one other group in the area, comprising of the last remaining daughters from Hekla’s team. They were all working together.

“We’ve been trying to get everyone together at least once a day to all eat together,” Katia said.

“You should try the tea Bautista makes,” Louis added. “It’s really good.”

“It is good,” Katia said. “Imani and Elle are both addicted to it. He used to own a tea shop with his family.”

“I’m not really a tea person,” I said, “but I’ll be happy to sit down with you guys. It’d be nice.”

“He only eats sausage and egg breakfast sandwiches,” Donut said. “He ate so many, now the food box thing only has that as an option.”

“Yeah, mine did the same thing,” Louis said, “but with bowls of Captain Crunch.”

“By the way,” Katia said, giving a wary, sidelong look to Donut. “Imani and Tserendolgor are talking about her party joining the guild.”

“What?” Donut asked. “Is that a joke? Absolutely not. We can’t just let any riffraff off the street in. She’s a cheater and an experience hog, and that

disgusting meatball pet of hers wants to eat Mongo.”

Mongo screeched in agreement.

“Dude, did you know Ren was like a supermodel before this all started?”

Louis asked.

“I did, actually,” I said. I’d heard some others talking about her over chat.

She was born in Mongolia, but she’d spent most of her teens and twenties working as a runway model in Paris. She’d been badly injured by a jealous ex-boyfriend and had recently returned to Mongolia before the collapse.

Apparently it’d been news in the modeling world. I’d never heard of her, but she was the biggest thing we had to an actual pre-collapse celebrity in the dungeon. A fact, someone made the mistake of pointing out where Donut could see. I’d had to talk Donut out of angrily listing all of her purple ribbons in chat.

“That’s obviously a lie,” Donut said, continuing to bristle. “If she was a supermodel, then why did she turn into a dog?”

“I don’t know,” Louis said. “But she has a necklace with a paw print on it. Maybe she really likes dogs.”

“Anyway,” Katia said. “It’s not set in stone. There’s a few other guilds who want her team, so we’ll see. But Imani was thinking we should vote from now on if we’re going to let other teams in.”

“Well Carl, Mongo, Bomo, Mordecai, and I all vote no,” Donut said.

I reached up and pet the angry cat. “We’ll talk about if she says she wants to join.”

“Oh hey,” Louis said, changing the subject. “Are you guys planning on rescuing Samantha any time soon? I made the mistake of putting her in my chat, and I don’t want to be a dick and block her, but she won’t stop messaging me. Earlier, she wrote ‘YOOHOO’ like fifty times straight in all caps until I answered, and when I did, she asked me what I was wearing.”

I laughed. “Just mute her. We’ll get to it when we can. She’s on the other side of the map.”

Katia shook her head. “I told you to be careful, Louis. She has a crush on you.”

I grunted. “I’m just glad she has her attention on you and not us. No offense. Just don’t let her distract you too much. Too much chatting is dangerous.”

“That’s actually why we came over,” Katia said. “Donut has been talking, but you have been pretty antisocial, only talking business, and we wanted to

check up on you.”

“I’m doing okay,” I said. “Living the dream, you know? How are you doing?”

She smiled sadly. “Just taking it one day at a time. Do you need any utility cards? We have these little trolls everywhere. They’re just called the Lads, but they drop a lot of cards. Louis mass killed about two hundred of them with a cloud attack, and we have more of these things than we know what to do with.”

She plopped a deck onto the counter, unveiling a ton of Time Extend and Buff cards and several others I hadn’t seen yet.

“Oh, wow,” I said, sifting through the pile. “Have you gotten any mystic cards?”

“No,” Katia said. “No mystic, no snares, and only a couple specials. We have a lot of cards, but our main deck is still pretty thin. We’re going totem hunting in a few hours. Do you know how the mystic cards work? It’s kind of a pain because they have to stay in your hand, taking up a slot. Anyway, here.

Take two of these. They’re consumable, so be careful.” She pushed forward a pair of Flee Cards. I grabbed another Stout card and two additional utility cards I hadn’t seen before. One called Blue Stuff, which increased the totem’s supply of mana points, and another called Greased Lightning which increased a mob’s speed by 25%. If we added that to Geraldo, he would be

ridiculously fast.

“Thanks!” I said.

Katia gathered her cards back up. “Be careful putting too many of these utility cards in your deck until you get more totems. Li Na has a mystic card that decreases draw time from ten seconds down to five. So we should all be on the lookout for that one.”

Zev: Sorry to interrupt, but you guys are going on in a few minutes.

Louis also has a show he needs to prepare for in an hour.

“Oh, poo,” Donut said. “We have to go on a show, and you just got here.”

“I’m doing a show, too,” Louis said. “It’s just me and Britney, but we’re going on Dungeon Sidekicks.”

“Oh, I heard about that one,” Donut said. “We’re going on a documentary or something equally highbrow, but we’ll be talking about television shows!”

“That sounds way better than mine,” Louis said. “Katia went on mine once, and they made her sing karaoke. I’m a terrible singer.”

“I haven’t yet been invited on a program as a musical guest, but I suspect

it’s only a matter of time. I wonder if the galaxy has something like Eurovision where people from different planets compete and sing. That would be delightful.” She turned to regard Bomo, who continued to play on the Gamecube. “Bomo, be a darling and brush me out. I have a program to go on.”

We said our goodbyes while Bomo brushed her. The cretin did it happily, but he wasn’t nearly as enthusiastic about it as the Sledge had been.

“Carl,” Donut said as we prepared. “What do you think is going to happen this time? Something crazy always happens when we go on shows.

The last time, I didn’t even get to go, but you made Vrah’s mother really mad at you.”

“Hopefully nothing too interesting,” I said.