Rain of Shadows and Endings — Chapter no 9

9 TESSA

T essa stood in front of the full-length mirror in the dressing room, staring at her reflection. She hardly recognized herself. She’d finally met the infamous Penelope, a sweet Fae with shining brunette hair and icy blue eyes. She came bustling into the suite in the late afternoon and ushered Tessa from the sofa to the bathroom to shower. Then she’d proceeded to do her make-up and dry and curl her hair, chatting away the entire time and telling Tessa she could call her Pen. Tessa could hardly keep up with the female, but she learned she was the personal servant of Theon and Axel. She could tell by the Markings on her wrist she’d attended the Falein Estate and had the water element. The female seemed happy enough, almost as if she enjoyed serving the Arius heirs.

Tessa’s honey-blonde hair was now pinned half up, the rest cascading over her shoulders and down her back. The dress Pen had put her in was a shimmery-cream colored wrap skirt with a slit that went nearly to her hip. It had a split collar that rested down her shoulders, leaving her collarbone bare and sleeves that went three-quarters down her arms.

She was sliding black stilettos onto her feet when Pen announced her work here was done before leaving her alone.

She tried not to worry her bottom lip that was expertly tinted a dark shade of red, not wanting to smear the lipstick. Tessa smoothed her hand down the dress again, her gaze snagging on the Mark on her hand. The next Mark would go on her chest, over her heart, and Tessa wondered if it’d be visible in this dress. It would look different. The first Mark designated the Lord or Lady they served. The other Marks… Tessa frowned. She knew nothing of how the other Marks were chosen. Would they look like Eviana’s?

She reached up, fingering the neckline. It covered all of her cleavage while still showing her collarbone, so maybe it would stay covered? Her fingers lingered, and she stared, wondering for the hundredth time in the last three hours how she’d found herself here.

She didn’t hear Theon enter, and she started when he appeared in the reflection behind her. He looked stupidly attractive as always, dressed in a black suit clearly tailored for him.

His tie matched her dress, and he’d shaved. Tessa found herself missing the stubble that had been present along his jaw the past few days.

He brought his hand up and brushed her hair over her shoulder, his hand lingering on the back of her neck. She told herself to flinch away, but she didn’t. She hadn’t seen him since that morning. He hadn’t physically touched her since the day before, and she found herself leaning into him.

Theon didn’t say anything, but she didn’t miss the small shudder of relief that went through him in the reflection. His eyes closed briefly, reveling in the same pleasure the bond was currently giving her, and when they reopened, the emerald green was liquid as they met her eyes in the mirror. His thumb began moving tentatively on her neck, massaging sensitive points, and she drifted back a step, feeling his chest against her back.

Her eyes fluttered closed this time, Theon’s other hand coming to rest on her hip and tugging her back into him even more. The cord inside of her was buzzing with excitement, and Tessa knew she was losing a battle she’d been fighting for days. A small voice in the back of her mind was screaming at her to move, but a much louder voice was whispering to her soul, telling her it could be like this all the time.

“This is how it’s supposed to be, beautiful,” Theon murmured into her ear, and goosebumps pebbled along her skin.

Her eyes snapped open to meet his in the mirror once more. He was leaning into her, his hand drifting up and splaying across her torso. The hand on her neck snaked around until he loosely gripped her throat. The metal of the rings he always wore now was cool against her suddenly heated flesh. With his thumb, he tilted her head to the side before slowly lowering his lips to her flesh, keeping his gaze on hers the entire time. He trailed lingering kisses up the column of her throat, and when he reached the sensitive area behind her ear, Tessa couldn’t hold back the sigh of relief she felt at his touch.

“Don’t move.”

He stepped away from her, and she had to agree with the fit the bond was throwing, begging him to come back. What if she gave in? What if she gave in to the demands of this thing? Just this once? Would it satisfy it? Give her a reprieve from the constant desperation she felt?

Theon was back a moment later, stepping into her once more. He brought his hands over her head and laid a diamond choker against her throat, clasping it. Holding out a hand before her, Tessa looked down to find two diamond earrings lying in his palm. Wordlessly, she hooked them into her ears. Then he gently spun her, bringing her right hand to his lips.

He pressed a kiss to the Mark before clasping a matching diamond bracelet to her wrist.

“This is all too much, Theon,” she finally managed to get out. “I already feel far too… extravagant. Isn’t this a bit overkill?”

“For a formal dinner with my father? No. But that truth aside, it is not too much, Tessa.” His hands landed on her waist, pulling her into him. He brought his fingers to her chin, tilting it up. “Can you do something for me tonight?”

She got lost in the brightness of his eyes. The angle of his cheekbones. The curve of

his lips.

“Tessa?”

“Hmm?”

The corner of his lips twitched up and a small dimple appeared. Without thinking, she reached up, tracing it with her finger. Theon groaned at the light touch, and his brow fell forward to touch hers.

“If this were any other dinner, I would say fuck it, and spend the rest of the evening standing here in this room with you. So I’ll ask you again: can you do something for me tonight?”

“What?” she breathed, too lost in the sensation of having him so close.

“Can you remember this? What is happening right now? How you’re feeling?” he pressed, the fingers of a hand trailing up her spine. “Can you pretend, just for the night, that you want this? And after dinner, we can come right back here and pick up where we left off?”

“I…” Tessa trailed off as his hand slid beneath her hair to her neck again.

“Just for one night, Tessa,” he urged. “For one night, pretend you accepted this.

Welcomed it. Just try. For one night.”

She could do that for one night, right? She could try instead of focusing on everything he’d taken from her. She could let the Source bond take control for one night. Her eyes

wandered to the Mark on the back of her hand, but Theon drew her back to him before her stare could linger.

“No, beautiful. Keep your eyes on me tonight, yes?” She nodded, not trusting herself to say anything. “And remember what I told you when we arrived: do not speak unless spoken to.”

She nodded again, and Theon took her hand in his, leading her from the dressing room and out into the main living space. Luka and Axel were there and waiting, dressed in suits similar to Theon. Both of them stilled when they entered, sapphire and emerald eyes trailing up and down her body. She felt her cheeks flush at the attention, and her other hand came up involuntarily, clutching at Theon’s arm.

Luka noticed immediately. His gaze bounced back and forth between her and Theon, but he didn’t say anything.

Axel cleared his throat and gestured to the door. “Shall we?”

“Do you need anything before we go?” Theon asked, looking down at her.

She shook her head, and he led her to the door, removing his arm from her hold and settling his hand on her lower back as she stepped through the door in front of him.

“I asked Father if I could move to the east wing as well,” Axel was saying as they traversed the various hallways. Tessa was only half-listening. She had never seen this part of the house. Luka had taken her in through a side entrance, and she hadn’t left Theon’s suite since.

While Theon’s room was modern, the rest of the house felt like she had stepped into some type of dark castle. The walls were all dark stone with pictures lining them. She caught glimpses of dragons and serpents, a landscape of what she assumed was the After; or rather, what the artist envisioned it might look like. Dark red rugs ran the length of the hallways over smooth dark floors, and the windows had dark curtains pulled back. The sun was already setting, and lamps along the walls every few feet emitted low light, casting shadows on the various potted plants spaced along the hall.

“I’m sure Father was very open to the idea,” Theon replied.

“Absolutely. He said he’d have my things moved to new rooms first thing tomorrow.”

“You’re full of shit,” Theon said, guiding Tessa around a corner.

Axel chuckled. “You’re right. He said when I was of age to Select a Source, I could move to that wing. Until then, he didn’t want me in this wing unsupervised.”

Tessa scoffed. “What kind of trouble could you possibly get into out here in the middle of nowhere?”

Three sets of eyes settled on her. She’d already forgotten about the whole not- speaking-unless-spoken-to thing. Fantastic.

“Based on our earlier interactions, I am going to assume you could find trouble at the bottom of a soup can,” Axel teased with a wink.

“That is…possibly accurate,” Tessa conceded with a flash of a small smile.

“Those are stories I would love to hear sometime,” Axel replied.

“You and me both,” Theon said as they approached a large set of dark doors.

The males collectively slowed, and Tessa could feel the tension slither around them.

Theon stepped in front of her, sliding a hand to her cheek. “Eyes on me tonight, yes?”

“Yes,” she answered quietly.

He bent and pressed his lips to the top of her head before turning and entering the dining room, leaving Tessa to follow behind like the good little Source she was supposed to be. Valter was already seated at the head of the long table. High-backed cushioned chairs ran down each side. The table could easily seat twenty, more if needed. Cressida was seated to his left, and Eviana stood at his side.

Wait.

Would she be expected to stand beside Theon all night? In these shoes?

“Theon. Luka. How nice of you to join us this evening,” Valter greeted them, a tight smile tilting his lips.

“Your wording left little choice, Father,” Theon replied dryly, going around the table to the chairs at his father’s right. He paused on his way to bend down and press a kiss to Cressida’s cheek. “Good evening, Mother.”

“Theon, you grow more handsome every day, dear,” Cressida crooned, beaming up at her eldest son. As he moved around the table, Axel bent and pressed a kiss to her other cheek before sliding into the chair beside her. Luka took the chair next to Axel.

Tessa dutifully followed Theon, who bypassed the chair directly to his father’s right and took the next one. She paused, unsure of what she was to do. There were two empty place settings still on the table.

“Sit, Tessa,” Theon said, motioning to the chair across from Luka. Tessa moved forward, silently thankful for the direction. As she took her seat, Theon snapped his fingers at a Fae along the wall, and a moment later, a glass of whiskey was placed in his hand.

“You allow her to sit before you even have your drink?” Valter quipped, swirling his glass of liquor.

“I saw no reason to make her stand,” Theon replied, taking a long drink of his own.

“You could have allowed the rest of us to enjoy the view for a few minutes,” Valter said with a smirk.

“I can see her pretty face just as well with her sitting,” Axel cut in, winking at Tessa as he brought his glass of alcohol to his lips.

Valter’s lips thinned at the comment, his eyes dragging to his younger son. Axel just tipped his glass in his direction in a mock salute and took another drink.

“Eviana,” Valter said tightly, “you may sit.”

“Thank you, my Lord,” Eviana replied, moving gracefully to the seat at Valter’s right.

The soup course was served, and small talk was had among the Legacy at the table.

The Legacy were also given bread with their soup, while she and Eviana were not. Tessa frowned down at her bowl of vegetable soup, stirring around green beans and carrots. She cast a sidelong glance out of the corner of her eye at Eviana, who was dutifully eating her soup, her eyes always either on her bowl or on Valter.

Theon leaned towards her, speaking directly into her ear. “Eat, Tessa.”

His breath made her hair flutter against her cheek, tickling her skin, and a chill skittered along her spine.

“Why can’t I have any bread?” she hissed back. Theon just gave a pointed look at her soup bowl before turning back to the conversation of his family. She gave a small sigh before bringing the spoon to her mouth. She was supposed to be trying after all, supposed to be pretending she’d accepted her place…beneath him. Apparently her place wasn’t worthy of bread with her soup.

When the salad course was brought out, she was given a basic salad with a few cherry tomatoes and sliced cucumbers. The Legacy were given a strawberry-walnut spinach salad complete with cheese crumbles and strawberry vinaigrette. She scowled, stabbing pieces of lettuce forcefully and long fingers grazed briefly along her arm. A warning. She sighed, crossing her legs underneath the table and proceeding to eat her boring salad.

“Your Source is exceptionally fidgety at the dinner table, Theon,” Valter said, and Tessa froze, her cheeks heating.

Theon, who had finished his salad, leaned back in his chair, picking up his refilled glass of whiskey. “This is the first time she has left our rooms since her arrival.” His other hand came to her head, smoothing along her hair before resting on the back of her neck. He squeezed slightly. “She is eager to return.” The smirk that crossed Theon’s face and what that implied to his father had her fuming inside.

Valter chuckled, finishing his salad.

A foot nudged hers under the table, and she glanced up to find Luka staring at her. He shook his head slightly. Another warning. Tessa gritted her teeth.

She could do this. She simply needed to emulate Eviana, right?

She snuck another peek at the female who had already finished her salad. Her hands were folded in her lap, and while her eyes always went back to Valter, she still swept her gaze around the table at times. She was poised with her back straight, body always turned slightly towards her Master. Every once in a while her head would tilt as though she heard something.

When the main course was brought out, Tessa became excited as the Legacy meals were uncovered. Steak, roasted vegetables, mashed potatoes with gravy, and more bread.

She was going to devour every bite. Theon never ordered her red meat.

And apparently this dinner was to be no different.

When her plate was set before her, she found a chicken breast, plain rice, and roasted vegetables. No bread. Biting her tongue yet again, she began cutting her chicken, and tuned into the conversation she’d been ignoring all evening.

“Luka, I just received word that you will be allowed to arrive early at the Acropolis with Theon and Axel and the rest of the heirs. After I explained the circumstances, they couldn’t really deny the request,” Valter was saying around his steak.

“Excellent. Thank you for your assistance in the matter, Valter,” Luka said with a nod.

“I expect that to be a fruitful time for all of you. A chance to get to know the other heirs before the rest of the Legacy arrive,” Valter went on. “I have received letters from several prospects seeking alliances.”

“Must we talk about my darlings leaving for the next year?” Cressida cut in with a pout. “I’m going to miss them greatly.”

“We will be home on holidays, Mother,” Theon sighed, scooping up some potatoes.

“Yes, but a piece of my household will still be gone. That does something to a mother’s heart.”

“Get used to it, Cressida,” Valter said, cutting another piece of his meat. “In addition to letters for alliances, I’ve received several proposals for Matches with Theon now of age.

They’ve sent bloodlines and genealogies as well. There are a couple of decent options.”

A Match?

For Theon?

Why hadn’t she thought of this?

All the Legacy were given Matches— arranged marriages. They were carefully planned to ensure children produced were pure Legacy and only strengthened their bloodline, often matching a greater bloodline with that of a lesser god or goddess to make sure the greater bloodline’s power ran true and as strong as possible. Why had she never thought of the fact that the reason she was given a small bed in Theon’s suite was because he would eventually have a wife in his? He would be expected to produce the next heir for the Arius Kingdom. The Source bond would force Tessa to be his, but he would not be hers.

That thought alone made her food lurch in her stomach. She didn’t want Theon, but being forced to give herself to someone and receive nothing in return?

But then another thought hit her. He wouldn’t make her stay in that room while… When they were…producing said heir. Would he?

At the thought, Tessa’s fork slipped from her fingers. It hit her plate with a clatter, rice scattering across the table. Silence fell, all eyes coming to settle on her.

“My apologies,” she said softly, beginning to clean up the rice, her cheeks hot.

“Theon, did we not have a discussion about your Source’s manners?” Valter asked, his voice a steely calm.

“We did. It was unintentional and will not happen again,” Theon said quickly, his hand coming to rest on her knee that had begun bouncing beneath the table.

“I should hope not, but you assured me of the same in our prior conversation. I clearly have a way of instilling obedience in my Source,” he said with a nod of his head in Eviana’s direction. She was eating her vegetables, eyes on her plate. “Perhaps you need assistance.”

“She is not your Source to discipline. I will take care of it when we return to our rooms,” Theon answered tightly.

Tessa didn’t know how to react to anything that was being said, but at Valter’s words of his “assistance,” Eviana had glanced up briefly, her face paling, before she reached for her water glass and took a drink.

“That may be the case, but she will not be permitted to finish eating at my table,”

Valter said.

Tessa’s eyes were fixed on Theon, who was staring at his father. His words ran through

her head.

Keep your eyes on me tonight.

Theon would fix this. He’d promised to take care of her. He’d fix this, and she’d apologize profusely later. She’d try harder. She’d figure out a way to make this bond thing work.

She watched that muscle feather in his jaw. His knuckles were white around his glass.

She was beginning to think it was going to shatter in his hand.

“Tessa, leave the table,” he ground out. “Stand by the wall behind me until it’s time for us to go. Do not make a sound.”

She stared at him in complete and utter shock. “Because I dropped a fork?”

The words were out of her mouth before she had a chance to stop them. Theon’s head whipped to her, his emerald eyes darkening a shade. No. They didn’t darken. Darkness swirled in them.

“She speaks back to you too?” Valter asked, his voice tight with rage. “I swear to Arius, Theon, if she is not under control—”

“She is under control, Father,” Theon interrupted, fury tinging his tone as he glanced over his shoulder at him. He brought his eyes back to hers. “Go, Tessa.”

“Th—” she paused, his name getting stuck in her throat. “I didn’t throw food across the table. I dropped a fork,” she hissed indignantly, trying to keep her voice down.

Eviana’s eyes had left her Master and were fixed on her, wide in horror at her outburst.

Cressida was sipping on her wine, watching everything as if Tessa were the evening entertainment. Axel was giving her a pitying look, and Luka’s glare was telling her to move to the fucking wall.

“Theon,” his father growled from across the table, and that was darkness wreathing his hands.

“I have it handled,” Theon snapped. “Tessa, we discussed the behavior that was expected of you tonight. Either move to the wall, or you will sit at my feet for the remainder of this meal.”

“You cannot be serious,” she balked, her eyes widening at the threat.

“Serious as the Pits of Torment,” he replied coolly. Standing, he gripped her elbow, hauling her to her feet. He snapped his finger and a servant appeared. “Remove her chair.”

Ice cold fury raced through her veins. Theon’s eyes never left hers while his order was carried out. When the chair was removed, he said, “Kneel, Tessa, and not another word.”

His entire demeanor was possessive and dominating, and as Tessa lowered to her knees, something snapped in her, just like the day she’d screamed to the gods on the drive here. It was a thing that lurked inside her, that only one other had ever been able to help her control. Her lips curled up in a smirk as she whispered mockingly, “Eyes on you. For one night. Right?”

“Enough,” he snarled, the darkness in his eyes swirling faster. Dark mist appeared, hovering around him.

“Theon,” Axel said quietly from across the table, and it seemed to pull Theon back from a brink, the darkness dissipating.

“Do not interfere with this, Axel,” Valter hissed.

When Tessa was kneeling on the floor, Theon slowly sank back into his seat, finally pulling his gaze from hers.

“Must we really discuss Matches days before he is to leave this house?” Cressida asked, continuing their conversation as if nothing had happened. “At least when he has a Match, they will live here.”

“I think it would be wise to discuss potential Matches,” Valter countered. “Many will be at the Acropolis with him. He could get to know them there.”

Tessa could hear the clinking of silverware and glasses as they resumed their meal while she stared at their shoes and legs beneath the table.

Beneath. The. Fucking. Table.

She gritted her teeth as her feet began to fall asleep in her shoes. She shifted so she was sitting, which was no easy task in this dress. Theon’s hand came to her hair, running through the parts of it left down, and the fucking bond hummed in gratitude for his touch. It didn’t care that she was sitting on the floor in humiliation. It only cared that she was touching him, even if it was at his feet.

“I do not think it needs to be discussed anytime soon,” Theon was saying, twining a lock of her hair around his finger. “The law states there can be no Match unions made

during a Selection year anyway.”

“That does not mean an arrangement cannot be made and terms agreed to during the year,” Valter answered. “There are three in particular I think would produce acceptable heirs. I can show you their reports tomorrow.”

Theon sighed. “As you wish, Father.”

Plates were removed, and dessert was brought out. Tessa was growing tired and restless, sitting on the floor. Theon playing with her hair was irritating, and she wondered just how long this meal was going to go on.

“Metias and Pavil will arrive tomorrow morning at ten,” Valter was saying. “I want you and Luka at the meeting, Theon.”

“Is that really necessary?” Theon asked, his fingers drifting over the diamond choker at her throat.

“I think it is. We need to get things finalized before you leave for the Acropolis.”

“Everything is already finalized. I know what is expected of me when I get there,”

Theon said. His fingers grazed along her skin as he ran them along the choker, and Tessa

suddenly saw it for what it was.

A collar.

A very pretty, very expensive collar.

A collar to control her and train her and subdue her. And she wanted it off. It was suffocating her. It was cutting off her air supply, little by little, until there would be nothing left. Until there would be nothing left of her.

The space beneath the table suddenly felt more like she was locked in a cupboard. Her breaths became shallow, and she couldn’t get enough air down. She began to tremble. Her hand flew to her chest as if she could somehow force it to expand to allow more air into her lungs.

Theon went rigid beside her, his hand coming up to her cheek and stroking his thumb along her cheekbone, as if trying to soothe her. She squeezed her eyes shut tight, trying to focus on her breathing, but the necklace at her throat was digging into her skin. She swore it was becoming tighter and tighter. That it wasn’t a collar at all but a noose.

She brought her hands up, trying to find the clasp at the back of the thing. Her hands were shaking, but she needed it off. Theon’s hand landed on hers, and she gripped his fingers, digging her nails into his skin.

“Fine,” Theon said, interrupting whatever his father had been saying. Tessa heard his glass plunk onto the table. “I will be in your study at ten tomorrow.” He stood abruptly, his fingers sliding from her grip. “If that is all for the evening, then I am going to take my leave.”

“You will leave the table with a half full drink?” Valter asked, his voice dangerously low.

“I have liquor in my room and a Source to deal with,” Theon replied. Tessa heard chairs scrape, and from beneath the table, she saw Luka and Axel go to their feet as well.

“I will expect your presence at more family dinners before you go off to the Acropolis,” Valter said.

“Noted,” Theon replied, extending a hand to her. She looked up at him towering over her as she sat on the floor. When she didn’t reach to take his hand, he said, “Come, Tessa.”

Tentatively, she placed her fingers into his waiting palm, and he instantly closed it around them. He pulled her roughly to her feet, his face carefully void of any emotion.

Crossing the room quickly, he towed her along behind him, and she nearly tripped in her heels. Luka and Axel trailed behind them.

Theon didn’t slow until they rounded a corner. Then she found herself pushed up against a wall. Theon’s hands were on her face, tilting it up to look at him. “What is wrong?

Why are you pale as death?”

Tessa pursed her lips, refusing to meet his eyes. What did he care anyway? He’d made her sit on the fucking ground at his feet while they finished their dinner. She was trembling, but there were so many emotions rippling through her, she couldn’t decide if it was from his closeness, her rage, or her feeling of utter helplessness. Her skin was buzzing, energy that needed to be expelled, and this fucking necklace needed to get off of her throat so she could fucking breathe.

“Tessa,” he demanded, her name an order.

She dragged her eyes to his, glaring up at him. “Will I be made to kiss your shoes in punishment for something else I cannot control?” she sneered despite the tightness in her chest.

Someone sucked in a breath behind them. Luka or Axel, she didn’t know. She also didn't give a shit. Theon’s lips thinned. “Tell me what is wrong,” he repeated, his tone deceptively calm. The same tone the Arius Lord had spoken in earlier that night. “Are you ill?” When she didn’t respond, he gritted out, “How can I take care of you if you refuse to tell me what is wrong?”

“How can I trust you to take care of me when you place me at your feet like a godsdamn dog?” she spat back.

“Tessalyn, answer me. What is wrong?” he demanded, ire glittering in his eyes.

Unable to withstand the entrancing, she answered, “I want this necklace off.”

Theon studied her for a moment, as if searching for a lie, but she couldn’t fully lie around an entrancing. He reached up and unclasped the choker, slipping it into his pocket.

“What else? Why are you so pale?”

“Why do you care? Because I was not the perfect doting Source like Eviana?” Tessa asked, her tone dripping with venom.

“Perhaps we should take this to your rooms, Theon,” Luka suggested tightly from behind them. “Things will be reported back to the Lord.”

“Fine,” Theon snapped, reaching for Tessa’s hand again. She jerked it back from him, crossing her arms over her chest. Theon’s eyes darkened as his temper slipped, and he gripped her elbow, pulling her along.

A warning look from Luka had her swallowing down her protest.

The buzzing in her skin was increasing, and she could hear it in her head. Loud and incessant and needing out, out, out. The cord was vibrating too, relishing Theon’s hand on her skin. And she couldn’t handle it. She couldn’t deal with all the emotions and the things that had happened during dinner and everything else that had been removed from her control.

When they finally made it back to his rooms, Theon opened the door, standing aside to let her enter first. She crossed the threshold, going straight through the main room.

“Tessa,” Theon called after her as she walked into the bedroom. She heard the door click shut, and she heard someone else comment something about the thunder that was rumbling outside, but she didn’t slow. Crossing Theon’s bedroom, she flung open the double doors that led out to the balcony. She needed air. She needed to feel the wind on her face and to not be trapped inside those rooms. She paused only long enough to remove the shoes from her feet before stalking to the railing and hurling them both as far as she could, screaming defiantly to the sky in rage and releasing every emotion that was warring inside of her. Lightning flashed and thunder rumbled, the sound mixing with her screams, and as she sank to her knees, it started to pour. Big, cold drops splashed onto her face, into her hair. And gods, it felt amazing. Something wild and free. She was soaked in a matter of seconds, the beautiful dress she was wearing likely ruined.

Her face fell into her hands as she let herself cry all the tears of rage and anger, hurt and humiliation she had been holding back since dinner. Since she’d arrived here really.

The diamond bracelet scraped against her cheek, and she fumbled with the clasp, throwing the thing across the balcony before all but ripping the earrings from her ears and doing the same. She briefly glimpsed the others standing in the doorway, staring at her in shock, clearly not knowing what to do with her.

No one ever knew what to do with her except shove her aside. Lock her away. Too wild to be something, so forced to be nothing.

When she began violently ripping pins from her hair and bringing strands with them, Theon finally moved forward. He slowly knelt down beside her and moved her hands away before beginning to gently remove the remaining hairpins. As he worked, the storm slowed.

The downpour turned into a rhythmic rain, but it never stopped. It was a steady stream of something so cold, it numbed everything else inside of her.

When he finished, he took her hands, pulling her to her feet without a word and guiding her back inside. Luka was waiting with towels. He handed one to Theon before wrapping one around her shoulders.

He led her to the armchairs before the fireplace. Axel had turned it on and warmth radiated into the room, but she didn’t feel any of it. The cold of the rain had settled in her soul, icy and unforgiving.

Theon went into the bathroom and emerged a few minutes later shirtless and in lounge pants. He came to her with another towel and began squeezing the water from her hair.

Tessa stared at the flames flickering behind the glass of the fireplace. Oranges and reds and hottest blues dancing together, tangling and fighting, loving and hating.

No, wait.

They weren’t doing any of that.

Her head tilted to the side as she watched them lick against the glass that contained them. That stifled the wildfire they longed to burn. Her hand drifted up to her throat, her fingers grazing where the choker had sat. The fire just wanted to be free to do what its nature demanded of it, but it was stuck inside a glass box. It was contained so that others could harness its energy and stay warm or admire its deadly beauty. To be used and snuffed out with the flick of a switch.

“Tessa.” Theon’s voice was tentative. “You need to change out of your wet clothing.”

Her gaze remained fixed on the flames for a few seconds longer before she dragged her eyes to his. He was watching her warily, clearly unsure of what she was going to do or say.

She glanced at Luka, who was leaning against the wall near the door. He looked as though he were prepared to stop her. As if he anticipated she would try to leave. Axel was like a statue by the fireplace, his features a mixture of concern and shock.

She uncoiled from the chair she had been placed in, standing onto her bare feet. Theon stepped back, giving her space. She looked at the flames once more before turning and walking through the tiny room and into the closet. Peeling off the wet dress, she left it lying on the floor while she found a pair of leggings and a thermal shirt from the island dresser.

She brought the dress into the bathroom and hung it over the tub. Then she removed her make-up—or what was left of it—and brushed her teeth, staring into her eyes in the mirror, red and puffy from crying. Broken and fractured and everything she’d tried to put back together over the years shattered once more.

She couldn’t do this.

Theon had asked her to try for one night. She had barely lasted two hours before she was literally shoved under the table.

She crossed back through the dressing room and into the room she’d been given as her own space. Then again, nothing here was hers. She wasn’t even her own self here. Crawling into the bed, she pulled the scratchy blanket up to her chin as she rolled over and faced the wall. She wished she could cry herself to sleep, but apparently she was fresh out of tears, so she stared at the wall, trying and failing to sort through all the turmoil roiling inside of her.

She could still hear the rain splattering against the windows in the other room.

At some point, Theon came into the room. She felt him sit on the edge of the bed. He ran his hand over her still damp hair, and all she could think about was how he had done the same while she’d sat at his feet beneath a table.

“I know you do not want to, Tessa, but it would be best if you came to sleep in the other bed. Being near me will help…calm you,” he said.

She didn’t move, clutching the thin blanket tighter around herself, pointedly ignoring the joy of the bond at his touch. After a minute, he sighed, and she felt the weight of a heavier blanket settle over her. He left the room without saying anything else, and she heard hushed whispers as they moved out to the main room.

She refused to be like those flames in that fireplace. She refused to be collared and leashed and trapped. No. She was getting out whether this bond liked it or not. She’d go into hiding. Find a way to get in touch with Dex at some point. She’d figure out a way to stay hidden. She could blend in. Steal some money and buy a glamour so she could move freely among the mortals. Go somewhere in another kingdom, to the big cities where there were millions of people.

She wouldn’t survive this. It would break her.

And she didn’t burn when she broke.

She shattered, and the world shattered with her.