Rain of Shadows and Endings — Chapter no 38

38

TESSA

H er breath stalled in her chest as Theon filled her without warning.

But gods, was it everything she had been needing for weeks.

The burn of being stretched. The feeling of being full. The pleasure that drowned out

everything.

“Breathe, little storm.”

The words were murmured into her ear and had her sucking in a sharp breath as he smoothed hair back from her brow. She hated she was swallowing down tears to keep them from pooling. She hated herself for finally giving him this. For being so godsdamn weak that she’d given in. For being so desperate to not feel after the events of the last two days.

Mother Cordelia. The river and the vampyres. The constant guilt and embarrassment of Theon and his fucking shadows. The running. The training. The sitting through endless events with Theon. Being shunned by the other Sources before they tried to use her. The confusion and turmoil over what Tristyn had said to her.

Destruction or salvation. Your choice, wild fury.

This could destroy her or save her, and tonight, she’d let it save her. Tonight she’d take from Theon, and she wouldn’t regret it when it was over.

“Are you all right?” he asked, some type of concern filling his emerald eyes as he straightened. He still stood at the end of the bed, towering over her, his cock deep in her aching center.

“I’ve fucked plenty before, Theon,” she replied, rocking her hips in a testing movement.

He hissed, his brow pinching. “Stop moving, Tessa.”

“Why? You said tonight I get what I want.”

“I just need to make sure you’re fine before—”

She bucked against him again with more force. “As I said, I’ve done this plenty.”

“With mortals,” he retorted, a hand gripping her hip to keep her still. “It’s different with a Legacy.”

She snorted a laugh. “Sorry to be the one to tell you this, but mortal and Legacy cocks are exactly the same. The blood of a god does not make your dick more special.”

She was prepared for the darkness that crept across his irises at the mention of being the same as a mortal. She was not, however, prepared for the shadows that sprang to life around him, twining around her arms, caressing her breasts, her hips, her thighs. She wasn’t prepared when Theon’s touch followed his magic, and she wasn’t prepared when something beneath her skin started pressing at her being, trying to claw its way out.

She was already arching off the bed, and he hadn’t even godsdamned moved yet.

“It’s different with a Legacy,” he murmured again, his voice as sensual as his touch where he was toying with a nipple. Then his head tilted to the side as he studied her. “You feel it, don’t you? You feel your power trying to get to mine.”

“I— I don’t know what it is,” she rasped, pressing against his hold on her. It had to be the bond. There was no other explanation. “Theon, I need you to move.”

“I know what you need, Tessa,” he replied, pulling out a fraction before pressing back into her.

“Do you?” she snapped. “Because it’s more than that.”

He huffed a laugh. “Still fighting me, even with my cock buried inside you.”

“I’m beginning to wonder if you know what to do with it,” she bit back.

His small smile fell, and then his mouth was on hers, his tongue swiping at the seam of her lips. He didn’t need to try too hard. She immediately let him in, moaning as he claimed her mouth the way he tried to claim every piece of her.

Bending her knees, she moved to wrap her legs around his waist, but then he was pulling back and pulling out, and she was cursing in frustration.

“Godsdamnit, Theon!”

“Hush, Tessa,” he snapped, gripping her hips and flipping her over, tossing her further up the bed. “I told you I know what you need.”

She felt the bed dip as he climbed up behind her, his knees pushing her legs wider.

Then he was hauling her ass up before he slid all the way into her again, and she was moaning into the blankets, her face buried.

Taunting. That’s what made him do this to her.

She tucked that away for future use.

His hand was in her hair, pulling until her back bowed, and she was hissing at the sharp sting in her scalp. He pulled out and slammed back into her again as he growled, “Is this what you’re wanting from me, Tessa?”

“Gods, yes,” she moaned, arms stretched before her and fingers curling into the blankets. The buzzing beneath her skin increased, and whatever it was, it was as desperate for release as she was. Heat speared out from her center, her entire body sparking with need. The tension was becoming too much as he continued to hold her on the brink of pleasure, knowing exactly how to move to give her what she wanted, but not enough to let her grab it. And in this moment, she both hated him and needed him, and it wasn’t fucking fair.

He thrust into her again. Then his chest was flush with her back when he curled over her to speak again. “Do you feel that, Tessa?” He punctuated his question with another thrust of his hips as his shadows continued to rove across her flesh. There one moment and gone the next, the thing inside her was chasing it all, like lightning trying to catch the darkness it eclipsed. “It’s not the bond. I know you think it is,” he continued, low and dark in her ear. “But it’s you, Tessa. It’s us. So much more than a fucking bond.”

And then he was pressing her down to the mattress, his hand on her neck, holding her in place as he lost any semblance of control. The angle made him go deeper, his cock hitting the perfect spot every godsdamn time. She was coiled so tightly, it wasn’t going to take much more, so she let herself sink into the sensations of his cock plunging in and out of her. His shadows pressing against her clit with every thrust. Of his heavy breaths and her ragged gasps. Of his fingers flexing on her hip as he steadied himself. The sweat beading on her brow.

“Give it to me, Tessa. Now,” he demanded with another hard thrust.

She shook her head against the hold he still had on her neck. “Not yet,” she pleaded, wanting to cling to this all-consuming pleasure just a little longer.

“It’s mine. I decide when I get to have it.” Then there was a snarled, “Fuck! I can feel your power, Tessa. Just beneath the surface. When it is set free—”

She stopped listening. She didn’t want to hear yet again what her power was going to do for him. To hear yet again just another box she checked on his list.

So when his shadows pressed into her clit, vibrating against her, she let herself fall into oblivion as release tore through her. It wasn’t until she was coming back down from the high that she realized her hands were clenching the blankets so tightly her knuckles were white. That Theon had removed his hand from her neck. That he was pulling her back into his chest, dropping little kisses to her head, her temple, her jaw. She hadn’t even realized he’d come while she’d been lost to her own euphoria.

“You’re perfect, Tessa,” he murmured.

“You already got to fuck me, Theon,” she sighed. “You can stop trying now.”

“Tessa—”

“Please just…stop talking.”

To her surprise, he did. But his hold tightened around her.

She was hoping he’d been right.

She was hoping if she’d let this happen, given into this bond, nothing else would matter. That’s what he kept telling her, right? That once she gave into the bond, she wouldn’t want anything else. Only this. Only him. That all her problems would go away.

She could just exist without having to think or feel. She could just be and not care about anything.

Instead, a tear was tracking down her cheek as she felt his breathing become deep and steady. He may have been wrong about that, but he’d been right about so many other things he’d said to her tonight.

It’s a little bit of hope you’re too afraid to cling to, so you let yourself sink instead.

A lot of good hope did.

Not when all this had done was prove her fears right. Her power was valuable to him.

Not her.

That’s all she could think as she cautiously uncurled her fingers that were still clenched tightly around the blankets.

She slowly lifted a hand to find light glowing in her palm.

Never her.

Only what she could give.

When she blinked heavy eyes open the next morning, she had shifted in her sleep. Her head was on Theon’s chest, her fingers resting atop the fine hair below his navel. Both were still naked from the night before. Thankfully, her power had waned. She wasn’t sure how she would ever learn to control that.

His fingers were toying with her hair, and when she glanced up, he was awake, his phone in his other hand. He either hadn’t realized she’d woken, or he was pretending he didn’t know, trying to savor the moment of peace.

There was a soft knock on the door, and she tensed on instinct. He didn’t acknowledge it, only called out, “Come in.”

Pen came through the door, a tray of coffee, pastries, and fruit in her hands, and Tessa felt her cheeks heat as she buried her nose in Theon’s chest.

“Thank you, Pen,” he said quietly.

“Of course, Theon,” she said. “Axel already left on his run.”

“I’m aware. He sent me a message.”

“Do you need anything else?”

“No. We’re fine.”

Tessa didn’t peek out from his chest until she heard the door click shut.

“You should have warned me,” Tessa said, her voice hoarse from sleep.

“Warned you about Pen?” Theon asked, his hand back in her hair.

“Yes. She doesn’t need to see us like…this.” When Theon didn’t answer, she peeked up at him again. He was back to his phone, pointedly not looking at her. She sighed. “It’s not the first time she’s brought you breakfast with a female in your bed, is it?”

“No.”

Something twisted in her stomach at his answer, and she had no idea why. But the bond stirred to life, also not liking the idea of someone else being in his bed.

Which was just great.

Not only had she not accepted this fucking bond after sex, but now she was godsdamn jealous of females she didn’t even know.

The sound of Theon setting his phone aside had her looking up at him again as he gently extracted himself from her. She meant to ask where he was going, but the words caught in her suddenly dry mouth when she found her gaze fixed firmly on his perfect ass and, gods, those thighs.

She watched as he bent to grab two mugs of coffee, quickly turning away when he started to turn back towards her. His dark laugh skittered along her spine, and she pulled the covers over her head.

“Tessa,” he chided, tugging on the comforter.

“Put some pants on,” she grumbled.

“You’re being ridiculous.”

“You’re being…stupidly naked.”

Another tug of the blankets. “Tessa, come on. I brought you coffee.”

She responded by sticking out a hand with a gimme gesture.

“Tessa.”

“Theon,” she parroted.

There was an exasperated sigh before the sound of footsteps, and she peeked out to find him gone. Wrapping the sheet tightly around her chest, she reached for one of the coffee mugs on the nightstand, moaning at the taste.

“I have to put on pants, but you get to make those sounds,” Theon said dryly, reappearing from the closet clad in loose pants that hung low on his hips.

“The pants aren’t exactly hiding much,” she said with a pointed look.

“You’re naked in my bed, Tessa. I’m going to be hard,” he replied, swiping up the bowl of fruit and carrying it to the bed with him. He grabbed his own coffee, settling against the headboard, emerald eyes on her as he took a drink.

She cleared her throat. She may have been sleeping in this male’s bed for weeks, but this was awkward. “Stop looking at me like that.”

“I don’t know any other way to look at you.”

“Whatever,” she grumbled, taking another sip of her coffee.

“I let Luka know you’d do training an hour later than normal,” Theon said, bending a knee and resting his arm on it while he drank his coffee.

“Great,” she muttered.

“You understand why this is important, right?”

She sighed. “Yes, Theon.”

“We have a private dinner tonight with Dagian Jove.”

Tessa choked on her coffee, and Theon arched a brow.

“Just us and Dagian?” she asked.

“Luka and Axel will be there. I’m sure Dagian will have another with him, as well as

his Source.”

“Why are you meeting with him?”

“He requested it,” Theon answered.

“And you said yes?”

“Is there a reason I should have said no?”

She pulled her knees to her chest, resting her chin on top of them. “I guess not. It’s probably a good idea to appear amicable while attempting to take over the realm.” She could feel him studying her, and she glanced at him when she said, “What?”

“Why are you hesitant about this?”

“About you trying to take over Devram?”

He glared at her. “No. You appear apprehensive about Dagian.”

“I’m not.”

“You are. Did something happen that I need to be aware of?”

“No.”

“Tessa…”

There was a warning in his tone that had her tensing. “Nothing happened, Theon.”

“You’re a terrible liar.”

“Why does everyone keep telling me that? I’m an excellent liar,” she admonished.

“You need to tell me why this bothers you, or I will have to force it,” he said. “I cannot afford to be caught off guard with you tonight.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” she demanded, straightening.

“It means I want to be prepared, and you appear leery of meeting with Dagian. I don’t want any more surprises.”

“Tristyn and Dagian are very different,” she said, knowing exactly what type of surprises he was referring to.

“We will discuss Tristyn in a moment, but first Dagian. Last chance to tell me yourself before I force it.”

Her eyes dropped to her coffee cup she was holding between her palms. “It’s nothing, Theon. Truly. The Priestess put him in the visions at the assessment. He tortured me, and…”

It had felt real. So real, in fact, a part of her felt like he had truly been there somehow, and every time she saw him or had to be in the same room as him, it made her heart race at the memory of his power slamming into her.

“Tessa, you will not be left alone with him. All three of us will be there,” Theon said, and she could hear the annoyance in his tone.

“I know.”

A finger under her chin was lifting her face to his as he added, “I know that I have not done the best job of keeping you protected when you are not at my side, but I hope you know no one will ever harm you when I am with you.”

She nodded mutely, Luka’s sneered words coming back to her from that first day of training.

How have you not realized nearly everything Theon has done, including making you sit beneath a table, was to protect you?

The words had warred in her soul for days now, and as he reached to tuck her hair behind her ear, she said, “Can I ask you something?”

He seemed surprised, but quickly wiped the expression from his face as he nodded for her to go on.

“Last night I was speaking with the other Sources, and they implied that if you hadn’t Selected me, I would have been assigned to serve in the Achaz Kingdom at the Sirana Villas.” Theon said nothing, only held her stare, and it had her averting her gaze as she felt her cheeks flush for some unknown reason. Her words ran together as she rushed on, “And your father said I would have served in entertainment, and you’ve made comments that you saved me from worse fates and—”

“What are you asking me, Tessa?” Theon interrupted, his tone harsher than she expected.

“Is that true? What Maxson and Jasper were saying? That some are assigned to…

repopulate the Fae?”

“Yes.”

Startled by his bluntness, she lurched back, coffee sloshing from her mug, and the sheet slipped an inch down her chest. She caught the sheet as Theon swiped her mug from her hands.

Her fingers curled around the edge of the fabric as she felt the buzzing beneath her skin start up. That energy searching for a way out. She was starting to realize that it always preceded her power surfacing.

“And you—” She sucked in a shaky breath, forcing herself to look at Theon when she asked, “You believe that’s where I would have been assigned?”

“My father is many things, but he knows the inner workings of the kingdoms well. He spoke the truth the day you met him,” he answered. “Had you not been Selected, I am certain the plan would have been to send you to Achaz Kingdom. You’re beautiful, Tessa, something the Legacy covet in their Fae, both for personal pleasure and for producing offspring.”

Tessa swallowed down the bile that rose at the idea of that. How were the Fae on the Estates kept so oblivious to all of this? The blood? The basic breeding?

“However,” Theon went on, “your emerging could very well have altered those plans.

You could have still been assigned there with the hope of your children having the same power levels as you are anticipated to emerge with. But the far more likely alternative is that the kingdoms would have fought over you.”

“Fought over me?”

He nodded. “The most powerful Fae known to the realm? Tessa, blood will still be shed over you. We are preparing for it. Arius Kingdom will likely be accused of having known your gifts and power levels all along, that we somehow cheated the system.”

“But that’s not possible,” she stammered. “Is it?”

Theon shrugged. “It doesn’t matter, but like I said, we are preparing. You are preparing. It’s part of the reason you’re training.”

“To protect myself,” she said slowly.

“Yes,” he confirmed. “When—not if—someone comes for you again, they will be smart about it. It won’t be when you are with us. They’ll wait for an opportunity, and when they take it, you need to be able to fight back until I can get to you.”

“To fight for me,” she said, and the words tasted weird on her tongue. No one had truly

fought for her before. Not even Dex.

“Yes.”

“Because I am your Source,” she clarified, not liking the feeling stirring in her chest.

Darkness flitted across his eyes at her words. “Because you are mine to fight for.”

She’d process those words later because all of this was becoming too much. All of this was pointing to Luka speaking the truth. That nearly everything Theon had done was to protect her.

“You need to get ready. I need to get you to Luka,” Theon said after a moment. “Make sure you eat.”

“Right,” she murmured. “What do you do while I am with them?”

Theon’s brow arched. “Are you missing me, beautiful?”

She scoffed. “No, but I prefer you over Luka’s training.”

“And Axel?”

“Oh, I’d rather run with him,” she replied, reaching for the smaller blanket folded at

the end of the bed.

Theon scowled. “And why is that?”

She strategically replaced the sheet with the blanket before she started to climb out of the bed. “I suppose because he’s not you.”

Fingers snagging around her wrist had her stilling and looking back over her shoulder.

“You realize he will be in my position next Selection year.”

“Yes, well, he won’t be my Master, now will he?” she retorted. “And the Fae he

Selects will likely want this life.”

“Because you don’t.”

“Yes, because I don’t.”

“Tell me, Tessa. What kind of life would you like to live? What kind of life have you dreamed of?”

“What kind of life have you dreamed of?” she shot back. “Besides world domination, of course.”

“If you think I desire Devram for the sake of ruling it, you truly do know nothing,” he said, his voice going cold as he released her wrist. “Go get ready.”

She pressed her lips together, slipping from the bed and going to the closet to put on her training clothes before going to the bathroom to brush her teeth and put her hair up.

Thirty minutes later, Theon was leaving her with Luka without a word, but she didn’t miss the look exchanged between the two.

Luka sighed as the door shut behind Theon. Tessa was already in position, waiting for him to begin his torture.

“Tell me what happened last night,” Luka said, crossing his arms where he stood before her.

Tessa blinked at him, unsure of what to say.

“I swear to Sargon, I will entrance you, Tessa. I don’t have near the patience that

Theon graces you with.”

“Why don’t you just ask Theon?”

“Because he has enough to deal with right now, which is why I am dealing with you.”

“Dealing with me,” she deadpanned.

Luka’s lips curved into a mocking sneer. “Don’t like that choice of words, little one?”

When she didn’t answer, he moved before she could register what was happening. Her feet were swiped out from beneath her, and she was on her back with an audible “oomph.”

Luka stood over her, a foot on each side of her hips, his hair hanging forward and

brushing his jawline.

“Tell me what happened last night.”

“You’re not my Master,” she sneered back.

“No. I would have never chosen you as my Source,” Luka agreed. “But here I am.

Forced to deal with your constant attitude. How is that fair?”

“Fair?” Tessa admonished, her hands clenching at her sides. “Do not speak to me

about what is fair, Luka Mors.”

“Tell me about last night.”

“No.”

Then she was hissing as the flames at her wrists bit into her skin.

“I can and will do this all day, Tessa. My loyalty is to Theon, not to you. I will do whatever I have to keep him protected.”

“A slave to a bond, just like me,” she mocked.

Luka dropped down, straddling her waist so he could bring his face closer to hers. “I chose my bond, little one.”

“You were forced to choose it,” she countered. “It was Theon or Valter.”

“That’s a fair statement, but do you see me bemoaning my situation day in and day

out?”

“That’s different.”

“You just said it was a bond, just like yours. Which is it, Tessa? It’s only the same thing when it fits your narrative?”

“What is your problem?” she snapped, her hands shoving against Luka’s chest. Not that he went anywhere. That was solid muscle beneath her palms, and dragon fire made his flesh so godsdamn hot all the time. But for the love of the gods, he’d been different since they’d arrived at the Acropolis too. So had Axel. Just like Theon. Any lightness they’d shown her in their time at Arius House was gone.

“You are not the only one forced into shitty situations, Tessa,” Luka replied. “You have far more in common with me, with Theon, with Axel, than you realize. The difference is the three of us aren’t lying down and letting it happen. We don’t sit around and stare out windows all fucking day. You don’t want this? Fight back.”

“What do you think I have been doing for weeks?”

“Whining,” he sneered, pushing off of her and getting to his feet.

“Whining?” she all but screeched, quickly getting to her own feet.

“Yes. Whining.”

“And how do you propose I fight back?”

“First you need to figure out what you’re fighting for. First you need to care about something,” Luka said.

“Then what? Step on whoever gets in my way?” she demanded, blocking the hit Luka aimed at her side.

He smiled in approval. Barely, but it was there.

Then she was on her back again, completely having missed his follow-up attack.

Prick.

“No one can steal your thunder if you are the storm,” he replied, stretching a hand toward her. “Be the fucking storm, Tessa.”

“Why are you telling me this? Aren’t you supposed to be protecting Theon?”

He yanked her to her feet as he said, “That’s exactly what I’m doing.”