Rain of Shadows and Endings — Chapter no 25

25

TESSA

S he wasn’t fine.

She was the farthest thing from fine.

Then again, she couldn’t really say she’d been fine in years.

She wasn’t ill as Theon believed her to be, although she definitely felt sick now. Well, sicker than she’d felt since she’d woken up in Theon’s lap in the recovery room at the compound. If Theon would have entranced her to tell him what was wrong, they’d have been here all night because there was so much wrong, she wouldn’t have known where to start. She’d never had to function this quickly after an assessment. Despite what that godsdamn priestess had told Theon, they did not “resume their regular duties” within hours of an assessment. Certainly not after a Level Five assessment. They were always given an extra day of recovery time. No lessons or required attendance at anything else. She slept or fucked or drank. Or all three. But the only one she’d been able to do today was sleep, and that hadn’t been nearly as helpful without the alcohol to make her forget or the pleasure to drown in.

The server appeared sometime later, placing food before Theon, then Felicity, before finally setting a bowl of steaming broth before her with a side of crusty bread.

Broth.

Fucking great.

It was probably too salty too. Just like she was forced to endure at the Estate where broth had been her meal for weeks when other food was withheld.

“You are so good to her, Theon,” Felicity praised again when Theon ordered a bottle of ginger ale to be brought, still believing Tessa to be ill. Tessa had to fight the eye roll.

“As I said,” Theon was saying, cutting into his steak, “I take care of what is mine.”

Tessa stiffened at the words, reaching for her water again. She took a sip and jolted when she felt Theon’s fingers on the back of her neck, water sloshing out of her glass and down her dress.

Gods, his touch today. She hadn’t been lying when she’d told him she needed it. The bond was comforting and soothing and all the things she didn’t want it to be. It had kept the nightmares away when she’d slept. It had calmed her when all she could see in her mind was that final vision they’d forced on her. The one where Theon and Axel and Luka had— “Here you are.”

Tessa jolted again when the bottle of ginger ale and a glass were placed in front of her.

Theon was making slow circles on the back of her neck with his thumb, but even that didn’t seem to be enough right now. Not that she could do anything about it in a public restaurant.

And maybe she was grateful for that because she knew if they were alone right now, she’d let him do pretty much anything to her to keep the memories from swarming up and dragging her down again.

“Thank you,” she replied quietly, giving the Fae server a small smile.

“You are very jumpy tonight, Tessa.”

And good gods, she jolted again at Theon’s whispered voice near her ear. He reached across her, picking up the small bottle of ginger ale and pouring it into the glass for her.

Then his lips were at her ear again. “It makes me think there is something, or perhaps several things, you are keeping from me.”

Tessa resisted the urge to swallow, reaching for the glass of ginger ale. “It has just been a long day,” she replied softly.

She could feel his eyes on her for a long moment, but he finally sat back, returning to his meal and the Legacy he was supposed to be getting to know. Knowing he was paying very close attention to her though, Tessa picked up her spoon and began stirring the broth.

“Tell me, Felicity, what gift did you end up with?” Theon asked.

“Was that not in the information my father sent over to you?” Felicity asked, and Tessa could feel her eyes on her too.

“It was, but powers manifest differently for everyone. I found it interesting you ended up with gifts of Gracil rather than Rai. How, exactly, does the power of creating conflict work?” Theon answered.

The female could create conflict? That seemed fitting.

“I can sense conflicts among people,” Felicity replied. “And from there, I can fan the flame, so to speak.”

“That could be useful,” Theon mused, sitting back in his chair and taking a sip of his fresh drink.

“It certainly can be, and a gift I would be more than delighted to share with the Arius Kingdom and bloodline,” Felicity said with a small smile.

“Indeed.”

Tessa snuck a peek from beneath her lashes as she brought a spoonful of broth to her mouth to find the two Legacies’ gazes locked on each other. She forced the mouthful of broth down her throat before setting her spoon back down. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad for him to take a Match. Maybe it would take his focus and attention off of her all the time.

Would she be expected to serve his Match, too, though? She had never seen Cressida giving orders to Eviana. Granted, she hadn’t been around Eviana or Theon’s parents much, but she had never seen Cressida interact with Eviana at all.

“Will you tell me of Arius House?” Felicity asked, breaking the silence and dropping her eyes to her plate as if suddenly shy. Tessa dipped her head to hide the eye roll she couldn’t stop this time. “Who resides there with you?”

“The house is big enough that I have an entire wing to myself. My parents have a wing as well, and my brother’s rooms are in that wing of the house. Mine were there until I took my Source. Luka, who will be my advisor when the time comes, also has rooms in my wing,” Theon answered.

“And your mother runs the household?” Felicity asked. “Would that be expected of me?”

“Eventually, I suppose,” Theon answered. “However, I do not see my mother giving up control of that anytime soon. So you would have time to pursue other interests for a while if you desired.”

“What do you want out of the Match agreement, Theon?” Felicity asked, picking up her glass of wine. “Are you wanting a companion to share this life with, or someone simply to produce your heirs?”

Tessa sat up straighter at that question. That… That was a bold question to ask upon a first meeting.

Theon was quiet for a long moment, taking a sip of his drink before he answered. “I suppose it would depend on the person I enter into the agreement with. Could a true

relationship form? Perhaps. Will I force something? No. Will I appease my father at the moment and meet with potential Matches? Yes.”

“And what will be your biggest factors for choosing?”

“Bloodline. Power. If I can stand being around the person for longer than ten minutes,”

Theon said with a smirk.

Felicity glanced at the delicate timepiece on her wrist. “Considering we have been dining together for well over an hour, and you have not attempted to leave, despite your Source clearly being ill, I would say I am doing fairly well on all three.”

“Perhaps,” Theon conceded.

Tessa didn’t finish her broth.

It had been one of the longest evenings of her life. She was exhausted— physically, mentally, emotionally. She nearly cried in relief when Theon and Felicity finally called it an evening…when it was nearing midnight. Theon had made it a point to touch her at various times throughout the evening, but Felicity had captured much of his attention. She had been so clever about it, too, never appearing desperate or demanding. She asked the right questions, provided the right answers, and in the end, they had already made plans to go for dinner when Felicity arrived at the Acropolis.

Which was great. Just fucking great.

After making sure Felicity was safely tucked away in her vehicle, Theon reached out a hand to Tessa where she was waiting for him near the doors. He could have let her get into the vehicle with Axel and Luka, but no. She had to stand here and wait for him. Trying to brush past him, she ignored his outstretched hand, but then his hands were on her waist, spinning her and pushing her up against the side of the vehicle. He rested one of his arms above her, leaning in close. His other hand stayed on her waist.

“We have much to discuss tonight, Tessa.” His voice was low, and the cord was vibrating wildly after having been ignored for much of the night.

She swallowed thickly. “One would think you’re talked out after so much conversation with Miss Davers.”

Theon’s head tilted to the side, a lock of dark hair falling over his brow. “Are you jealous, beautiful?” He brushed his nose up the length of hers.

“No, I’m not.”

“You’re not?”

“I’m tired, Theon. This day was… Well, it was uncomfortable.”

Unbearable was more like it, but she already knew he was upset with her small

outburst at dinner.

Too wild. Too impulsive.

“Hmm,” he hummed, running the tip of his nose along her jaw. “Do you want to tell me about that?”

“On the side of the car outside of a restaurant? Not particularly,” she rasped, tilting her head back as his lips brushed along the column of her throat. She was trying to ignore the heat coursing through her.

“Then I suppose we will need to finish this…discussion back in our rooms,” he replied, his teeth grazing her collarbone.

Tessa fisted her hands beside her, pressing her body back against the vehicle to support her trembling legs. “I would rather just go to sleep when we get back,” she managed to get out as that hand on her waist began roaming lower. And gods, she hated that she thought about urging him to take more. Just so she wouldn’t have to feel anything right now.

She felt him smile against her flesh. “I am sure you would, but that will not happen.

You have some secrets I need to know.”

He pulled back, reaching over and opening the door to the backseat, leaving her breathless. The bond was like a magnetic force inside of her, trying to pull her back to him.

“I don’t know why you think I’m keeping anything from you,” she retorted, pushing off the vehicle and climbing in.

“Mhmm,” he murmured, sliding smoothly in beside her. She tried to move across the seat to put distance between them, but his arm snagged her around her waist again. “Don’t even think about it.”

He didn’t even leave her on the seat. He pulled her directly into his lap, one hand coming up to her nape and beginning to massage the muscles there.

“So…” Axel started, dragging out the word. “How did it go?”

He and Luka were both twisted around in their seats, looking at them, and Tessa felt her cheeks heat. Did she really need to be in his damn lap?

“It went fine,” Theon answered. “Felicity is quite…unanticipated.”

“Unanticipated?” Axel repeated. “That’s how you’re going to describe her?”

“She just wasn’t what I was expecting,” Theon said.

“She was like Tessa then?” Axel asked, his gaze darting to her quickly before focusing back on Theon again.

“What? No. She was nothing like Tessa,” Theon said, his hand stilling on her neck.

“Why would you think that?”

“Because you described Tessa as being unexpected. And unexpected and unanticipated mean the same thing,” Axel said, arching a brow that Tessa could barely make out in the glow of the dash.

“I know what unexpected and unanticipated mean,” Theon snapped.

“So…she was like Tessa then?” Axel repeated, and Tessa heard Luka snicker as he turned back and put the blinker on to merge into traffic. Was Axel really teasing Theon over this?

Theon kicked the back of Axel’s seat with his foot as he muttered, “Prick.”

Axel laughed. “Tell us about her then, brother.”

As Theon started telling them all about Felicity Davers, Tessa closed her eyes, leaning into him and thinking about all the agaveheart she was going to drink tonight.

Agaveheart was made from the center of the agave plant that had been roasted, crushed, and fermented. It tasted both sweet and spicy, and it burned on the way down in the best way.

But that’s what she had really done when she’d gone to use the restroom. As soon as she was out of Theon’s sight, she had discreetly made her way back to the hostess. She had swiped a couple of large notes from Theon’s rather impressive stash when she had finished her hair that evening, and she had pulled one from where she’d stuffed three down the front of her dress.

She had asked the hostess to send a bottle of top shelf agaveheart to their hotel and have it left at the front desk for her with strict instructions to let them know not to send it up to their room because it was a surprise and that Tessa would pick it up in person. She’d only ever had the cheap agaveheart they’d stolen. If Theon would not let her drink wine at dinner, he could certainly pay for her to drink afterwards. She would do at least one of the things she always did after the power assessments and that was getting drunk and repressing the memories. Not particularly healthy, but what was that mortal saying? Make lemonade out of lemons or some shit? And when you’re desperate and have no lemons? You make lemonade out of agaveheart.

She still hadn’t quite figured out how she was going to get out of the room tonight to get said agaveheart, but as usual, she’d figure it out as she went. It’s not as if things could get any worse. She huffed a small laugh at the thought, but apparently everyone in the vehicle heard it, because silence fell. Theon’s hand that had again started massaging her

neck stilled once more.

“You find that amusing?” he asked.

Her brows knitted. “Find what amusing?”

“What I just said about Felicity.”

“I wasn’t listening to your conversation, Theon. I listened to you and Miss Davers talk enough tonight. I do not need a play-by-play of the evening. I was there for every dull

moment of it.”

“You did not enjoy the evening?”

“Aside from the fact that today was agony and I am tired?” Tessa retorted. “No, Theon.

I did not enjoy the evening. I was bored out of my mind, and we were inside for hours.”

“You should have stayed out here with us, baby doll,” Axel chimed in. “We watched the Chaosphere game. The Sunstars slaughtered the Firewings.”

“I would have chosen to watch paint dry over sitting there and listening to those two dance around topics all night,” she replied, and Axel barked a laugh. “He wouldn’t even let me have wine to get through the evening.”

“Why would I give you wine when you are not feeling well?” Theon cut in.

“I never said I wasn’t feeling well,” she bit back.

“That’s beside the point,” he argued. “You looked as though you were going to vomit with each bite of salad. Why would you ask for wine when you are not feeling well?”

“Likely because I choose inappropriate methods of dealing with emotional issues and

trauma,” Tessa muttered.

Axel barked another laugh.

“I can actually see that,” Luka commented as they came to a stop at a red light.

“I cannot tell if you are joking or serious,” Theon said, pushing her away from his chest to try to see her face in the dark interior of the vehicle.

“I can’t tell if you are going to be amicable or a dick from one minute to the next lately, so I guess we’re even,” she retorted with a shrug. “Then again, that goes for

everyone in the vehicle these days.”

“Gods, you’re mouthy when you’re tired,” Theon sighed, tipping his head back.

“I’m kind of like one of your hounds, but I can talk back,” she sneered, and Theon stilled against the seat.

“What did you just say?” he demanded in a low tone that had Luka and Axel stiffening.

“You heard me, Theon,” she sneered again.

Theon had been eating out of her godsdamn hand and couldn’t see how he was being played. But Tessa saw it. Tessa saw it the moment the female flicked her eyes to her when she was returning from the restroom and compared her to one of Theon’s hounds knowing Tessa could hear. The female knew she paused, almost causing a server to run into her with a tray full of drinks, when Theon commented about how his hounds couldn’t speak back to him.

When Theon had called her a valuable asset.

The silence in the car was deafening for a long moment before Theon said, “We have much to discuss tonight.”

“Oh my gods,” she groaned, dragging a hand down her face. “You really are going to repeat every conversation you had tonight, aren’t you?”

“What are you talking about?”

“We already had this conversation outside after dinner. You said those exact words to me.”

“A conversation is not what appeared to be happening after dinner,” Axel muttered from the front seat.

Theon ignored him, his entire focus on her, and the restless thing inside her raised its head. She didn’t care. She didn’t care that she was poking the monster, that she was likely making Theon incredibly angry. She didn’t care that there was definitely going to be a consequence for her actions. She was exhausted and feeling so many emotions, she couldn’t separate them out to deal with them if she tried.

“Then let’s have a different conversation, Tessa,” he said, his voice turning dark, and Tessa tensed at his tone. “What happened when you left the table tonight? And do not tell me nothing. You were fine when you left, and pale as moonlight when you came back.”

Tessa leaned in close to him, her lips feathering against his as she spoke, and she felt him suck in a breath. “I bribed the hostess at the front of the restaurant to get me a bottle of agaveheart and have it sent to our hotel,” she simpered.

“Are you really going to make me entrance the truth from you?”

“Are you really going to continue to argue with me tonight after the day you put me through? For nothing, I might add. Since my results were apparently inconclusive,” Tessa retorted, leaning back.

Axel coughed, trying to cover it up with a huff of laughter. “Tessa takes that round.”

“Shut up, Axel,” Theon snapped, his eyes never leaving her.

“We’re here,” Luka announced, throwing open his door and climbing out. Axel got out, leaving Tessa alone with a monster in the dark.

“We need to have a conversation about what you overheard tonight.”

“Sure, Theon,” Tessa replied, patting his chest patronizingly. “Right after we have a discussion about the three of you being assholes lately.”

A growl emanated from deep in Theon’s throat, and Tessa had the good sense to jerk back from him, but his grip on her waist tightened, keeping her in his lap. “Just so you are aware, the behavior you are displaying right now falls under the arguing with me category.”

“Just so you are aware, I don’t give a flying fu—”

The door of the vehicle opened abruptly, cutting Tessa off.

“The valet is waiting,” Luka said tightly. “I am sure whatever is going on in here can be continued inside.”

“It most certainly will be,” Theon said, sliding Tessa from his lap and handing her out to Luka.

“We should make arrangements for the vehicle to be here and waiting in the morning,”

Luka said while Theon climbed out and shut the car door. “Axel went inside to take care of the departing details so we don’t have to mess with it. He’s also arranging for breakfast to be ready to take with us.”

Tessa shivered against the chill of the night, and Theon glanced at her. “Go inside and stay by Axel. We will be right in.”

She didn’t hesitate, turning and rushing up the steps while rubbing her arms to create some warming friction. A Fae at the door let her in, and she immediately spotted Axel leaning against the front desk. There was a small seating area to the left, so she plopped down on a leather sofa to wait for them. She rested her chin on her hand, taking in the opulent lobby. It wasn’t as if she could head up to the private floor their penthouse suite was located on anyway. The floor was keyed to their magical signatures.

“Do you normally get all dressed up to sit in hotel lobbies after midnight?”

Tessa looked up to see a handsome mortal in jeans and a button-down shirt looking at her, a light amusement in his russet colored eyes.

“Always,” she answered. “It’s one of my favorite pastimes. There is just something about a hotel lobby that soothes the soul.”

“Maybe it’s the music?” the man supplied, the amusement forming into a small grin now.

“It’s no elevator music, but it’s the next best thing, I suppose,” Tessa said, exaggerating a wistful sigh.

The man chuckled, holding out a hand to her. “I’m Tristyn.”

“Tessa,” she replied, slipping her hand into his. He squeezed it warmly. “And what about you? What are you doing down here in the hotel lobby after midnight? Aside from striking up random conversations with Fae females.”

“Female,” Tristyn corrected. “Only one incredibly stunning female.”

Tessa felt her cheeks flush slightly. “That’s…”

“Accurate?”

“I was going to say cliché, but sure, we can go with accurate,” she said, her smile growing as he dropped onto the sofa beside her. He wasn’t close enough to touch her, but he was close enough that she forgot about the shit her life had become for a moment.

“So what’s the real story, Tessa? Have a date tonight?” he asked, settling into the sofa and draping his arm along the back.

“You’re incredibly forward,” she remarked, angling her body a little more towards him.

“One would assume that if you are dressed like that,” he gave her a pointed look, “you were at a rather important event. Since the Opening Selection Ceremony is over and not held in the Arius Kingdom, the odds of you being at said function alone are slim to none.”

She let out a small huff of laughter. “I was at a function, and I was not alone. But it was not a…date or whatever,” she admitted, glancing at Axel, who was still at the front

desk.

Tristyn followed her gaze. “With him?”

“No. I mean he was there. Kind of. He stayed in the vehicle.”

“He stayed in the vehicle?” Tristyn repeated, his brow furrowing. “Why?”

“It’s rather complicated.”

“You are incredibly vague and hard to get information out of,” Tristyn remarked, steepling a finger along his temple as he watched her.

“What information are you trying to get out of me?”

“At the risk of sounding even more forward, I am trying to work out if you are with someone,” he answered, that grin kicking up again.

“You are asking if I am Selected or bound to someone?”

He frowned. “No, Tessa. I am asking if you are involved with anyone. In a relationship. There is no union Mark or other symbol of commitment…”

He trailed off, and Tessa dropped her gaze. A mortal wouldn’t understand the Source Marks, so it made sense he didn’t recognize the one that marked her skin. “I am not involved with anyone, but—”

“You are going to tell me no before I even get to ask? That is mighty presumptuous of you,” Tristyn said, leaning in a little closer and a mischievous smile growing.

She smirked at him, enjoying their banter, but before she could open her mouth to say something in reply, Theon’s voice drifted to her.

“This looks cozy.”

Tessa lurched back from Tristyn, her eyes flying up to meet emerald ones as she shot to her feet and nearly tripped in her heels. Luka and Axel flanked Theon on either side, their arms crossed over their chests as the three of them stared at the man still seated on the sofa.

“Ah,” Tristyn said, rising casually to his feet. He was obviously unconcerned with the fact he was a mortal and they were Legacy, and Tessa couldn’t help but wonder if he knew he was speaking to the Arius Heir. “This must be the ‘but’ part of your statement.”

Tessa swallowed hard as Theon’s stare slid to her. “Don’t go quiet now, Tessalyn,” he bit out. “You were quite chatty a few moments ago.”

She shook her head, not daring to glance at Tristyn.

“We were just talking,” Tristyn said, his hands sliding into his pockets as he rocked

back on his heels. “Nothing more.”

“Tessa,” Theon said tightly.

She took a deep breath before turning to Tristyn, finding concern etched into his warm russet eyes. “It was nice to meet you, Tristyn. Have a good night.”

She turned to walk toward the elevators, but a light grip on her elbow had her pausing.

More than that, the touch had the cord in her thrashing because it wasn’t Theon who was gently holding her in place. His gaze darted to the three Legacy before settling back on her.

“Are you all right, Tessa?”

And oh gods, what it did to her to have someone actually care about her wellbeing just because he was a decent person had her blinking back tears. He wasn’t asking to ensure that she was in prime condition. He was asking because he was genuinely concerned for her. A complete stranger that she had only met a few minutes before cared simply because she was breathing, and not because of a dormant power he would one day be able to tap into.

The possessive rumble that came from Theon had her swallowing down all that emotion as she brought her fingers up to gently brush across Tristyn’s hand on her elbow.

She forced her voice not to tremble as she replied lightly, “That’s kind of you, Tristyn, but yes. I am fine. They are simply a little…protective.”

Theon pulled her from Tristyn’s grip, his arm sliding around her waist and tugging her into his side. She could tell from Tristyn’s face he didn’t believe her, and he stepped forward again, reaching for her hand.

“Touch her again, and you will find out just how protective we are,” Theon said darkly, and Tessa looked up to find shadows wisping across his eyes.

Tristyn took a step back, his features losing the playful nature she’d experienced moments ago.

“I assure you, Tristyn, I am fine,” Tessa said, and Theon’s fingers dug into her waist.

“Have a good night.” She looked up at Theon, biting her bottom lip nervously.

He spun her so her chest was pressing against his, and his hand came up to her face, his thumb pulling her lip from her teeth. “We have so much to discuss, beautiful,” he ground out.

“So I’ve been told,” she answered tightly.

His gaze dipped to her lips. “So mouthy tonight,” he murmured.

“So possessive without Felicity to talk to,” she crooned back.

“You have no idea how possessive I can be, Tessa.”

“I think she has a pretty good idea,” Axel murmured from behind them.

Theon turned to him incredulously. “Are you trying to get me to punch you tonight?”

Axel shrugged, unfazed. “I am simply saying the entertainment you two have provided in the last half hour has been better than the Chaosphere game, and that was an epic game. I have missed this. Can we go back to it?”

“Axel,” Theon growled in warning.

“No, I’m with him,” Tessa interrupted. “Do I get a vote?”

“No,” Theon snapped, whipping his head back to her. “You need to stop talking. That mouth of yours has gotten you into enough trouble this evening.”

“Weird. I hardly said anything for almost four hours,” Tessa drawled.

“Tessa!” Theon barked. “By Arius, what is wrong with you tonight?”

“You two are causing a scene,” Luka interrupted, and Theon seemed to suddenly remember they were indeed standing in a public hotel lobby. Tristyn was looking back and forth between them, a slight smirk on his lips as he observed their exchange.

Theon started leading her to the elevators, and Tessa couldn’t help herself. She knew it was a bad move, impulsive one might say, but she looked back over her shoulder, her gaze connecting with Tristyn’s. She winked at him. “Older brothers, am I right?” she said with an eye roll and a jerk of her thumb at the three Legacy. “Maybe I’ll see you around, Tristyn.”

“Do you have a death wish?” This time it was Luka chastising her as Axel’s brows rose in utter shock.

Tristyn visibly relaxed, and that flirty grin from earlier returned. “I’m staying here for a few more days. Room 608,” he called after them.

Theon turned to say something to him as the private elevator opened, but Luka and Axel both pushed him inside. Tessa stepped from Theon’s grip, leaning against the back of the elevator wall, and as soon as the doors closed, Theon rounded on her. And because she was apparently all out of fucks to give, Tessa smirked up at him.

“I kind of wish we had snacks for this show,” she heard Axel mutter to Luka from where they stood against one side of the elevator.

“For the love of the gods, stop talking, Axel,” Theon spat.

“Perhaps you should sleep on everything that has happened tonight, and deal with it in the morning, Theon,” Luka cut in, shooting a pointed look at Tessa. She read the warning in it, the order to stand down, and she huffed, crossing her arms over her chest.

The elevator doors opened with a soft ding, and Theon stepped to the side to let her pass, never taking his eyes from her. As soon as they entered the suite, Theon strode straight for the liquor in the minibar.

“Go to bed, Tessa. I will deal with you in the morning.”

Deal with her.

Such a hassle.

Such an inconvenience.

“Sure thing, brother,” she retorted, spinning on her heel to retreat to the primary bedroom.

“Good gods, Tessa. You do have a death wish tonight, don’t you?” Axel barked, his tone somewhere between shocked and amused.

Tessa let out her own humorless laugh. “Compared to these last few weeks, death would be a welcome reprieve at this point.”

“You don’t mean that, Tessa,” Theon said, plopping his drink down and stalking towards her, but Luka grabbed his arm, holding him back.

“Do not push her anymore tonight, Theon.”

Theon turned to him incredulously. “Are you seriously telling me not to push her any more tonight?”

“I have been warning you about this from the very beginning,” Luka retorted. “Let her go tonight.”

“She is not your Source. This is not your call to make.”

“Deal with it in the morning, Theon,” Luka insisted, not letting go of his arm.

Theon’s gaze drifted back to where she stood, and she couldn’t read the look that passed over his features. “Did you mean that, Tessa?” he demanded.

She pursed her lips, breaking his gaze, and glancing from Axel to Luka. They were all looking at her expectantly.

“These last few weeks have been what I imagine the Pits of Torment to be like. Pure and utter agony, and you do not seem to care as long as I am obedient and behave properly.

Have I thought death might be a kinder option a time or two? Yes. When I was experiencing the pain from the first Mark or the torture of the assessment today, did I wish for death to finally claim me and just put me out of my fucking misery? I’d be lying if I said no. But not even death wants me, even when handed to her willingly.”

Silence rang in the room, and it was Axel who spoke first. His eyes were wide in disbelief, and he stumbled over his words in a way she had never heard before when he said, “Tessa, are you saying… Have you tried to— In the past…”

He trailed off when Tessa held his gaze, her lips pressed together in a tight line. It was answer enough for tonight. They didn’t get to have her secrets. They didn’t get to have her past.

“I have done nothing but try to care for you, Tessa,” Theon said, his tone too calm and even. Too forced. “If you would just accept this fate, you wouldn’t… I wish I could figure out how to make you understand that acceptance of this would take care of all of this.”

All of this.

What did that even mean?

But there it was. She’d laid it all out there. All but told him she would rather death come for her than live out the life fate had dealt her.

And he’d come back to the fucking bond and her unwillingness to accept it.

A soft, broken laugh of disbelief came from her as she whispered, “Good night.”

As she was shutting the door to the primary bedroom, she heard Luka’s voice carry to her down the short hall. “I told you this was going to bite you in the ass.”

Tessa paused to listen.

“I don’t know what got into her tonight,” she heard Theon reply, his voice thick and tired sounding. “I thought she was getting closer to accepting this. She’s been seeking me out all day, needing the bond, and then it’s like a fucking switch flipped.”

That had been part of the plan, though. Sure, the bond had been soothing and comforting to her, but she had also wanted Theon to think she was starting to accept it.

Because maybe if he thought that, he’d put a little more trust in her and give her a little more freedom.

And she planned to use that extra freedom to get down to the lobby and get her bottle of agaveheart, especially after how the night had played out since they’d left the restaurant.

“I warned you she would not be the same,” came Axel’s voice. “Not after the way we’ve been trying to force her to accept this.”

“What would you have me do?” Theon snapped.

“Let’s sleep on it,” Luka said again. “Give her some space for a little while. We’ll all get some sleep, and maybe things will be…better in the morning.”

Doubtful.