Rain of Shadows and Endings — Chapter no 17

17

THEON

“Y ou want me to stay in here? While you bathe?” he asked slowly, sure he was misunderstanding what she wanted.

“If you don’t want to, can Luka or Axel? I don’t want to be alone,” she repeated. “The quiet is too loud sometimes, and I feel trapped in it,” she added in a whisper.

Fuck if he was going to let Axel or Luka in here while she was naked.

“I can stay,” he said. “I will just step out while you get in.”

He waited in the bedroom for a full two minutes, trying to get himself under control.

His mind was flooding him with all kinds of filthy fantasies, and the bond was capitalizing on them. It liked the idea of her wet and naked.

It liked that idea a lot.

When he re-entered the bathroom, Tessa was just coming back up from under the water, her hair plastered to her head and water dripping down her skin. He’d put jasmine and lavender scented soap in for her, so at least the suds obscured her naked flesh from his view. She leaned her head back against the tub and closed her eyes.

“You can’t sleep in the bathtub, beautiful,” Theon said softly, moving to stand next to her with his hands shoved deep into his pockets.

“I know,” she answered, her fingers skimming through the bubbles.

“We need to talk about something.”

Her eyes opened at that. “I don’t know what those things were that came up out of the ground. I don’t know what that was or how it happened.”

That statement was definitely something he would be revisiting later on this afternoon, but he needed to get this bond sorted out first. It wasn’t supposed to be like this, and after today, he needed it firmly in place.

“Let’s come back to that,” he replied. “Why are you terrified of me, Tessa?”

“I’m not scared of you,” she answered defensively.

“Pavil and Metias have gifts that can amplify certain emotions. When they touched you, they used their power to amplify your greatest fears,” Theon said, pulling his hands from his pockets and rolling back his sleeves. He lowered to his knees beside the tub.

“When I found you, you were terrified because of what had happened, yes, but you were also terrified of what I was going to do to you.”

Tessa was silent as he took the cloth he’d set out for her and dunked it into the water.

He gently began cleaning dried blood from her arm. “I don’t want you scared of me, Tessa.

I just need your submission.”

“I’m trying, Theon,” she said, so quietly he barely heard it.

“Are you? Because it shouldn’t be this hard to give into a bond. Once you do, things can be different. This would have never happened,” he replied, dunking the cloth and guiding her forward so he could run it down her back. He slid her long hair over one

shoulder.

“How do you figure that?”

“You would have been with me. I wanted to wait until you’d adjusted and accepted the bond before requiring you to attend meetings with me, but it appears that can no longer be the case.”

“Maybe if you would tell me things instead of keeping me in the dark about everything, I’d be more prepared for these types of situations.”

“I want to tell you things, Tessa, but I can’t. Not until the bond is fully in place. I need to know I can trust you.”

“The bond does not equate to trust, Theon,” she replied, then she slid under the water once more.

Theon could hardly see her beneath the bubbles. He waited until she resurfaced, and as she pushed her hair off her face again, Theon said, “Can I ask you a question?”

“You are the Master,” she answered dryly, taking the cloth from him and beginning to

scrub at her legs.

“What does the bond feel like to you?”

She paused. “What?”

“I’m trying to understand. Because if it feels anything to you like it does to me, I cannot for the life of me figure out how you are resisting the thing.”

Tessa resumed the scrubbing of her legs, and it took a moment before she said, “It feels like an ache in the pit of my stomach when I am away from you. It is a constant buzzing, like an itch that won’t go away. If it goes on too long, I feel like vomiting. When I actively resist and pull away from you, the bond punishes me for it.”

“And when you let me touch you?” he pressed.

She wouldn’t look at him, but she’d stopped washing. “I’m ready to get out,” she said suddenly, setting the cloth along the edge of the tub.

“I will get you a towel in a moment,” Theon said. “Answer me first. What does the bond feel like when you let me touch you?”

She swallowed audibly, but she didn’t offer anything else. He wasn’t letting this go that easily though. He wanted an answer to this one question, and he was prepared to draw it from her lips if needed. Before he could entrance her though, she tossed a question back at him.

“Did you send them to collect me like they said you did?”

“No, Tessa. I would have called Axel if I had wanted you brought to me.”

“They said…” She pursed her lips, drawing her knees up to her chest, and Theon’s

gaze snagged on more bare skin.

“What did they say, Tessa?”

“They said that your father had given them permission to make sure my manners had been corrected, and then when they couldn’t find me, they said he was going to be upset they had lost me. What does your father want with me, Theon? Is he the reason you chose me to be your Source?”

She finally met his gaze, and her eyes were filled with a desperation to understand.

“No, Tessa, my father did not decide you were to be my Source. The relationship between a Master and Source is too fragile for anyone else to choose it for someone,” he

replied.

“You chose it for me,” she countered.

“I meant it is too important for another Legacy to choose someone’s Source for them,” he amended.

“Then why did you choose me? We’d never met before. You’d never visited the Estate.

Why did you pick me out of the hundreds of eligible Fae at Selection?”

Her voice was strained with that same desperation he could see in her eyes, but Theon didn’t have a suitable answer for her. He wished he could explain it, but the truth was he

couldn’t adequately describe it himself. Finally, he said, “When I spoke with you in that alcove, I wanted you and only you.”

She pressed her lips together at the answer, and he wasn’t sure what that meant. He expected her to ask another question about it, but she said, “Can I get out now?”

Fully aware she hadn’t answered his own question, he stood and grabbed two towels from beneath the sink. Returning to the side of the tub, he said, “Up.”

She looked up at him from beneath her wet lashes. “What?”

“Up,” Theon repeated. “I’ll wrap you in a towel.”

He expected her to resist, but a quick look of determination filled her face before she gripped the edge of the tub and pulled herself up. Theon didn’t even try to hide the fact that he was looking at her. Her long hair covered most of her breasts, but the apex of her thighs was fully exposed, and his entire being was well aware of that.

As she stepped over the edge of the tub to the bathmat, he draped a towel around her shoulders. She gripped it between her fingers, covering herself, and he unfolded the second towel to squeeze the water from her hair. When he was done, he went to the closet while she dried off. He didn’t grab her clothes though. He came back with a warm, black fleece bathrobe.

He turned her so she was facing away from him before he pulled the towel from her body. His eyes dropped to her ass as he held the robe open for her to slide her arms into it.

Tessa quickly pulled it closed around herself, tying it at the waist. When she reached up to tuck a lock of hair behind her ear, the sleeve slid up her arm.

“Many of your wounds are already healing,” he noted, one of the surface scratches nearly faded.

She sent him a bland look before she stepped around him and moved to the vanity. “I know I am not a Legacy, but I am Fae. We do heal faster than mortals,” she retorted, digging out a comb from the drawer and beginning to run it through her hair.

As soon as she finished, he was behind her. He braced his hands on the counter on either side of her body, caging her in. Startled, she met his gaze in the mirror.

“You never answered my question, beautiful,” he murmured into her ear, and he watched the faint pink color creep into her cheeks. “What does the bond feel like when you let me touch you?” He brought his hand up, trailing the tips of his fingers down her neck, barely touching her. She shivered against him. “I have other ways of discovering the answer to that question if you will not tell me.”

Her face instantly hardened. “You will entrance me over this?”

He gripped her hips, turning her in his arms before lifting her up and setting her on the vanity counter. She gasped as he stepped between her legs.

“I do not need to entrance you for this,” he purred sensually.

“You said you’d never force this,” she rasped, that flush returning as he held her gaze.

She was still so off balance from the events in the garden, she couldn’t hide her emotions as well, and he hated that he didn’t know how to read everything playing out on her face. Soon it wouldn’t matter. The Mark she would receive on the fall equinox would allow him to feel her emotions, and if she somehow had still not accepted things by then, this would all be much easier to navigate.

“I will not force anything, Tessa. You are free to tell me to stop whenever you wish. Or in the alternative, answer my question, and I will stop immediately,” he replied, his fingers

skating up her calves. She was practically eye level with him when she was sitting on the vanity, and he slowly brought his mouth to hers. “I will kill those motherfuckers for touching what is mine,” he murmured, his lips feathering across hers as he spoke.

She sucked in a breath. “I’m not yours.”

“Lie to yourself, but not to me,” he murmured, his fingers slipping behind her knees and under the robe. Another shiver rolled through her at the touch.

“I’m not lying.” Her voice was breathy and not at all convincing.

“Your body says otherwise,” he argued, running his nose along the length of hers.

“It’s just this bond,” she gritted out, her hands gripping the edge of the counter, knuckles turning white.

“Is it?” He began trailing his lips along her jaw until he reached the space beneath her ear. “What does it feel like when my fingers trail up your thighs, Tessa?” She tried to hide it, but he heard the soft whimper that escaped from her. “Or when my lips touch here?” He pressed his lips to her throat, sucking lightly and scraping his teeth along her skin.

Her breathing was becoming ragged as he trailed his lips lower, and she leaned forward when he began dragging them along her collarbone. His fingers were crawling ever so slowly up her thighs, and for a heartbeat, he thought she was finally going to give in. For a fleeting moment, he thought she was finally going to give the bond exactly what it wanted, but then she spoke.

“It feels like coming up for air when I’ve been shoved underwater for too long.” Her voice was thick with desire. “When you touch me, it feels like pleasure igniting under my skin. When you touch me, it feels like nothing else matters as long as you never stop. It feels like safety and warmth and light.” The last words were such a soft whisper that Theon barely caught them, but he had halted his movements the moment she had started speaking.

Not because he had told her he would, but because he couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“If that is what it feels like, why do you resist it so adamantly?”

“Because it’s not real, Theon,” she blurted, the desire in her voice shifting to frustration. “It’s just the Source bond making me feel that way. My body responding to

physical touch. It’s not real.”

“It could be,” he argued.

“Even if that were true, how would you know? How would you know what is the bond you forced and what is real? How could you tell the difference?”

“Is this what is keeping you from accepting this?”

“Yes. No. Part of it, maybe? I don’t know,” she answered, her eyes darting away from his. His hands were still beneath her robe, halfway up her thighs.

“You know if you would accept the bond, you wouldn’t think about any of that, right?”

“That’s not the… Forget it,” she said suddenly, leaning away from him. “What do I

need to wear this afternoon?”

“You need to rest this afternoon.”

“Understood. What should I wear to do so?”

“What were you going to say?” he countered.

“Theon?” Axel’s voice carried in from the bedroom. “Lunch has been here for ten minutes. It’s getting cold.”

Theon held Tessa’s gaze for a moment longer before he left her sitting on the vanity to retrieve some clothing for her. He stepped out of the bathroom while she dressed in loose

pants and a long-sleeve shirt, and then he led her out to eat. She ate her soup and hot turkey sandwich without a word, and when she finished, she went straight to the sofa. The rest of them weren’t even halfway through their meals, but they had also eaten at a much slower pace between light conversation and their gazes constantly cutting to her.

“Were you able to meet with her?” Axel asked Luka, tipping his bowl to get the last of his soup.

“No,” Luka said grimly. “It was too risky for Cienna this time.”

“You were covered in blood when you got back,” Theon said. “If not Cienna, who?”

“The three Legacy your father sent me to take care of.”

“Godsdamnit,” Theon muttered, sitting back in his chair and tossing his napkin on the table. “When was the last time we talked to Cienna?”

Axel had pulled a small mirror from his pocket, fiddling with the thing. “She made contact when I was there during the Opening Selection Ceremony, but I didn’t see her. Only received her message.”

“It’s something, I guess,” Theon said, tapping his finger on the table. Axel gave him a pointed look before he realized it was the same mannerism his father always made. A muscle ticked in his jaw as he swiped up his water glass.

“We should discuss how to handle tonight,” Luka said.

“I say we let it play out naturally. See if he mentions anything or what he brings up.”

“That could work,” Luka answered, rubbing his hand along his jaw in thought.

“Father isn’t going to bring this up,” Axel argued. “There is no way he would implicate himself.”

“He won’t give a fuck about implicating himself,” Theon replied. “He’s going to be far more worried about revealing a plan before he is ready to do so. He is up to something, and he doesn’t want me to know what it is yet. He will be expecting me to confront him. If we say nothing, it will keep him guessing.”

“But if Pavil and Metias had succeeded today, you would have found out anyway,”

Luka cut in. “Did she tell you anything about what happened?”

“She wasn’t ready to talk about it yet,” Theon said, not revealing that was likely because he was pushing her thoughts elsewhere with his hands halfway up her thighs. “She said that my father had told them to make sure her manners had been corrected. She also mentioned something about things coming out of the ground and not knowing what they

were or how it happened.”

“What things?” Axel asked.

Theon shrugged. “She was pretty shaken up. I didn’t want to push the subject yet, but we need to look into it, along with the swords and gold paint or blood or whatever the fuck it was.” He got to his feet. “We can continue this conversation, but I want to be near her.

Her sleep will be more restful, and I need her to be at least partially functional for dinner.”

The others nodded. Axel went to the kitchen and poured them all some liquor before joining them. Tessa was already fast asleep on the sofa, and Theon carefully repositioned her so she rested on a pillow in his lap. He pulled the blanket she had covered up with higher over her shoulder and stroked her hair back.

“I don’t blame you, Axel,” Theon said, taking a glass from him. “There is nothing you could have done differently. You telling her to run was the best thing you could have done,

and I’m grateful. But until we know what Father is planning, she needs to be with me whenever possible.”

Luka and Axel didn’t look thrilled by the idea, but they didn’t broker any arguments against it either.

“So you are going to have her attend meetings with us?” Luka asked.

“Unless you have a better idea? She’ll need to start attending them when we get to the Acropolis anyway,” Theon answered.

“What happened to easing her into this?” Axel asked.

“That changed when he came after what is mine,” Theon replied.

Axel was staring at Tessa’s sleeping form, a slight frown on his face. “Do you think Eviana was like her? Before Father…”

He trailed off, both Theon and Luka understanding where he was going with that statement.

“I don’t know,” Theon answered. “I have a hard time picturing her any other way. She was Father’s Source long before we came along. He Selected her before he was Matched with Mother.”

“Maybe it’s because we’ve never interacted with the Fae until they are in service to the kingdom, but she’s just…,” Axel started, trailing off while he studied the sleeping female.

“It makes me wonder if they are all like this before they are forced to become what they are assigned to be.”

Theon shrugged. “We wouldn’t know. We’ve never visited the Estates, and we only observe them during trials in Selection Years.”

“I’ve been to the Estates a few times,” Luka said. “The younger Fae are more carefree and free-spirited, but that’s to be expected before they are assigned to their kingdoms and duties.”

They were quiet for a moment before Axel asked, “So any ideas which heirs we’re going to try to befriend when we get to the Acropolis?”

“Father has already demanded I am to make alliances with Celeste and Falein. He believes Anala to be a lost cause,” Theon replied, bringing his drink to his lips. Tessa shifted slightly beneath his hand, and his fingers flexed around her shoulder.

“And in the meantime, who do you think our best bets are to forge true alliances with?” Axel pushed.

“We didn’t get a lot of time to watch them at the Selection Ceremony,” Theon answered. “Luka has been doing some digging and gathering information, but I think the week at the Acropolis with just the ruling families will give us the best idea of that. I’m hoping for Falein and Anala. Serafina would be ideal, but that kingdom is fiercely loyal to the Achaz Kingdom.”

“So much depends on her,” Luka cut in, his sapphire gaze fixed on Tessa. “You should have chosen someone else, Theon.” He stood at the words, setting his empty glass on the coffee table. “I will see you all at dinner.”

He left, the door banging shut behind him, and Theon let out a long sigh, closing his eyes and leaning his head back against the sofa.

“He is worried,” Axel said after a while.

“He thinks Tessa isn’t the one for what must be done. That she’s too unpredictable. It is why I require her complete submission. It is why I am pushing her so hard to give in to

the Source bond. I need the loyalty the bond creates. We can’t tell her everything without it,” Theon answered.

“Perhaps your time would be better spent focusing on a real bond rather than a forced one?” Axel ventured.

“We don’t have the time for that, and you know it,” Theon retorted. Axel was fixing him with a knowing glare. “Do you no longer agree with the plan and what needs to happen?”

“Of course I know what needs to happen, Theon,” Axel bit back. It took a lot to rile Axel, but when you did, his rage almost made him more formidable than Theon.

Almost.

“We have planned this for too long. Too much hangs in the balance for her to mess with the plans. She will fall into line. If she had accepted this fate, nothing like today would have happened,” Theon retorted. “You and Luka need to get it through your heads. This is happening. We cannot change it. So either help me convince her to accept this, or stop coming around until she has. You can pass the message on to Luka.”

“I think Luka realizes that, Theon. It’s why he wishes you’d have chosen someone

else.”

“And you?” Theon challenged.

Axel leaned forward, his forearms braced on his knees. A muscle feathered in his jaw the same way Theon’s did when he was irritated. “She’d be safer if she accepted it,” he finally conceded. “She’d be safer, and our plans could move forward.”

Thank the fucking gods. Finally, they were understanding what he had been trying to get across to them since she came into their lives like a tempest.

“Can you grab my laptop? I have work to do this afternoon,” Theon said, nodding towards his desk.

“Sure thing,” Axel answered dryly, getting up to retrieve the computer. He placed it down on the armrest next to Theon. “So we’re going to do this then? We’re really going to let our monsters out of their cages? Show her what the rest of the realm sees?”

“Sometimes we need to become a monster to kill one, Axel,” Theon said darkly. “I’ve shielded her as long as I could. She was going to see us for what we are eventually.”

“And when she becomes one of us?” Axel asked, his hands sliding into his pockets.

“She won’t.”

“Theon—”

“She won’t, Axel,” he cut in sharply.

Axel didn’t say anything else. Simply turned and left, just as Luka had.

She wouldn’t end up like them. They had been raised to be this. She had been raised to be… Well, she had been raised to serve the Legacy. Other than what was in the file of information he had, he really didn’t know anything else about how she’d been raised on the Estate. Born at one of the Sirana Villas of the Achaz Kingdom, she’d been sent to the Celeste Estate the moment she was born. That was likely the real reason she hadn’t known her birthday.

Sirana. Goddess of love and fertility. Her Legacy were all sworn to the Achaz Kingdom.

Theon huffed a humorless laugh. They had the fertility part down. Not enough Fae had families of their own. Some by choice; most due to the duties they were assigned. On top of

that, it was difficult for Fae to conceive in general. Numbers had started to diminish despite the extended lifespans they shared with the Legacy, so centuries ago, the kingdoms all met and agreed that something needed to be done. A new accord was made, and some Fae were assigned to the Achaz Kingdom to “serve” under the Sirana bloodline. And the love part of their duties? Escorts and entertainment.

The decision had been unanimous among the kingdoms, but even if Arius Kingdom hadn’t agreed for whatever reason, it wouldn’t have mattered. There had forever been a divide between them and the others. It stemmed from a disagreement between the Achaz and Arius Kingdoms centuries ago, and over time, Arius Kingdom had become more and more withdrawn from the rest of Devram. That was fine with Theon. They had more than enough resources within their borders to provide for their people. They had defenses. They had wealth. They had the Ozul Mountains.

And they had the Underground.

But while Theon was fine with remaining the nightmare kingdom of Devram, his father wasn’t. Things had escalated between him and Rordan Jove, the Achaz Lord, over the last several decades, and now his father wanted more. Achaz Kingdom had long been the law of Devram, upholding accords and handing out judgment for those who broke them, despite Arius being the god of judgment and endings. And while those with the gravest offenses were sent to them to be held in the Underground, his father was no longer happy being the shunned kingdom only good enough for those Devram didn’t want to deal with.

Now that his heirs were coming of age to claim Sources of their own, his father was ready to put plans into motion that had been in place since before Theon was born. His father may be the biggest godsdamn dick known to Devram, but he was smart and cunning and willing to wait for opportunity.

The thing was, he’d instilled those same qualities into his children. He’d created monsters that were equally cunning and willing to do whatever was necessary to get what they wanted. The difference was they didn’t have the luxury of time. Their father’d had centuries of time to craft his plan. They’d had to get there faster, and while they were advancing their father’s plans, they were also furthering their own. Every move they made put them at risk of being caught. Of the wrong thing getting back to his father.

All the more reason Tessa needed to accept this Source bond.

Theon sighed, clicking open a message from Bohden, his father’s Commander-of- Forces, skimming the message regarding the new males and females being received at the Underground this week. None of them were of interest to him, and he moved onto the next message. Eventually he stopped reading them all together and opened a locked folder of research he’d been putting together on getting past wards.

The thing was, he was fairly certain the key to that was sleeping in his lap.