Rain of Shadows and Endings — Chapter no 12

12

TESSA

T here were fingers combing through her hair. She was warm and calm and nestled back into the hard wall of muscle behind her. The fingers moved from her hair and began brushing up and down her bare arm, goosebumps pebbling in their wake. She felt… content? Safe? She wasn’t sure. Both were foreign feelings to her.

When Tessa cracked her eyes open, there was a faint glow from beyond the balcony doors. It was barely dawn. She twisted to look at the clock on the nightstand, but her eyes settled on eyes of emerald green instead, and she got a little lost in them. She couldn’t read any of the emotions playing out on his face because there really weren’t any. In fact, his features were devoid of anything that would give her the slightest hint as to what his mood might be, and those fleeting feelings of safety and contentment quickly dissipated.

With a sigh, he pulled away from her, flinging the blankets off of himself. “I’m going to make coffee. When I bring it back in here, we will have the first of many discussions.”

Without looking back, he padded barefoot from the bedroom. Tessa pushed into a sitting position, rubbing sleep from her eyes. That was the best sleep she’d had since she’d slept for three days straight. She knew it was because of sleeping curled up next to Theon, and despite knowing what was coming, she felt refreshed.

Climbing out of the bed, she went to the bathroom to brush her teeth. After she ran a brush through her hair, she found one of Theon’s thermals to pull on. It was going to be a long day. She wanted to be in comfortable clothing, not tight fitting ones. She was just reemerging when Theon came back in carrying two mugs of coffee. He paused, his eyes sweeping over her, before he moved forward and set the mugs down on the small table

between the armchairs.

“Sit,” he said, nodding to the chair.

Tessa hesitated only a moment before lowering herself into the chair. She knew how to play this. The less combative she was today, the less severe the consequences.

The less time spent locked in the dark.

Theon picked up a mug and handed it to her. She instantly wrapped her hands around the hot ceramic cup, absorbing the heat.

“Tessa, I don’t even know where to start,” Theon said, beginning to pace back and forth before her, his hands running through his hair. “What happened at dinner the other night can never happen again.”

“Agreed,” she said, bringing the mug to her lips.

He paused his pacing, looking at her. “You agree?”

“Oh, yes,” she continued. “I agree. I will never be made to sit at your feet again.” She watched him carefully over her cup as she took another sip of caffeine.

“That is not…” He ran a hand down his face, and when he looked at her again, something had shifted in his eyes and features. They were harsher, darker. “No, Tessa. You can never disobey me like that again. Certainly not in public, and never in front of my father.”

“I dropped a fork, Theon!” she cried. “I did not throw the fork across the room. I did not try to stab someone with it. I did not try to comb my hair with it. I. Dropped. It.”

Theon’s brow knitted in confusion. “Why would you try to comb your hair with a fork?”

“It has tines. Like a comb’s teeth. Albeit a very small comb. But if one were in a bind, it would probably work,” Tessa offered with a shrug.

Theon stared at her for a long moment. “I feel as though the similarities between a fork and a comb are not important at the moment…”

“No. They are not. What is important is that you made me sit at your feet like one of your damn wolves for accidentally dropping a fork.”

Theon huffed a humorless laugh. “My hounds are far better behaved than you are,” he muttered under his breath.

Tessa glared at him, unimpressed, as she raised her middle finger in his direction.

Theon moved so quickly, Tessa jumped, coffee sloshing out of the mug and onto her pants.

He was standing over her, his hands braced on the armrests on either side of her. He plucked her mug from her hand and set it on the table before returning his entire attention to her.

“Gods, Theon,” Tessa snarled, bringing her hand to her chest. “What the fuck?”

“This behavior is exactly what cannot continue, Tessa,” he said, and she stilled at his dark tone. “I have tried to give you time to adjust to this. I have let you have your temper tantrums and—”

“Temper tantrums?” Tessa repeated indignantly, sitting up so her face was inches from his. “You took everything from me!”

Theon tsked, stepping back from her. “Don’t be so dramatic.”

She shot to her feet. “I didn’t even get to bring my own clothing with me!”

He waved his hand dismissively at the statement. “I have provided you with all the clothing you could ever need, and much better clothing at that.”

“That is so not the point, Theon,” she spat.

“Isn’t it?” he countered. “If you weren’t fighting so adamantly against your fate, you would see that I can provide you with everything you could ever need.”

“You took me from everything I know, Theon. How can you not see that? My home.

My friends. You stole my future from me.” Her fists were clenching and unclenching at her sides, her skin beginning to buzz with something that needed out.

“You are wrong, Tessa,” Theon said, shaking his head. “Your home? You’d already left it. You would be at the Acropolis until the Selection Year was over, and then you’d go to your assigned Kingdom. Your friends? You likely would have been separated from them when you received your assignment. Even if you were assigned to the same Kingdom, the Kingdoms are huge. You would have still been separated from them. And your future? You are Fae. Your purpose was always to serve the Legacy in one way or another. How that purpose was just altered was likely in your favor.”

“How in the realm do you figure that?” Tessa balked, stepping back from him.

“You becoming my Source is better than any other fate you would have likely been

assigned,” Theon replied.

“Which is what exactly?”

He shook his head again. “That is not important, Tessa. Furthermore, none of that

matters. When you became mine—”

“I am not yours!”

Theon’s hand shot out, his fingers wrapping around her throat. “You are, Tessa. You are my Source.”

“That doesn’t make me yours,” she snarled, trying to pull out of his grip, but his fingers only tightened until he yanked his hand back, as if he’d touched something too hot.

Stalking from the room, he left Tessa standing before the fireplace, wondering what the fuck had just happened, but he returned a minute later with a tablet. Tessa narrowed her eyes as he turned the thing so she could see the screen.

It was a document on her. Her own face stared back at her from a photo in the upper right corner. The first page was details about her life: where she was raised, physical attributes, elemental predictions. Theon interrupted her view when he tapped something near the bottom of the screen.

Current Location: Arius Kingdom Theon St. Orcas, Master, took possession at Opening Selection Ceremony 5622, assuming complete dominium.

Theon had signed his name underneath in agreement.

Her hand shook when she moved to swipe the screen, but he pulled the tablet away from her before she had a chance to see anything else.

“What is that?” she rasped.

“Your documents. All the Fae have them.”

“Documents for what?”

“To keep track of you and which kingdom is responsible for you.”

She knew Fae were viewed as less than to the Legacy, but to have actual papers? Gods.

The mortals had more rights than she did.

She couldn’t stop moving, growing restless as something pressed at her being, aching to be let free. She was shifting from foot-to-foot, a hand raking through her long hair and tugging lightly at the strands. Theon was watching her warily.

“Before we left the Acropolis. I had to sign transfer papers before I could take you from the Pantheon,” he said when she remained silent.

Documents. Transfer papers. He could call them something pretty, but it didn’t change

what they were.

Ownership records.

When he spoke again, his voice was still quiet, but there was nothing gentle about it.

“You are mine, Tessa. What you say and how you act reflect directly on me, and while you might not see it this way, everything I do is to protect you and care for you.”

“You only do so because I am your Source,” Tessa spat. “You do not do it because you care for me. You do it because you need me.”

“If that is what you choose to believe,” he said with a shrug. “But, even if that was true, this can be a mutually beneficial exchange. You provide me with what I need, and I provide you with everything you need.”

“And I am just to accept that I am a piece of property to be used and drained whenever you see fit?”

“It does not have to be that way. Why can’t you see that?” Theon asked, moving forward and snatching her hands when she started to reach for her hair again. Sparks of pleasure darted through her body at his touch, and she shivered. “See, beautiful?” His tone

had taken on a low tone, full of dark promises. “I know you feel what I feel when we touch, when we’re close to one another.”

“Only because I am forced to feel that way,” she replied, trying to pull her hands from his, but admittedly not trying very hard. Theon tugged her closer instead, wrapping his arms around her waist and pressing his brow to hers.

“Let yourself be mine, Tessa. Give in to it. It will only get harder to resist, and eventually you will give in anyway. You will want everything I have to offer. Why put yourself through all this turmoil?”

Was he right? Would the pull get stronger and stronger with each new Mark? Would the agony of the bond become so great she would eventually just give in? Would this all be for nothing? Maybe he was right and this was her fate. Maybe it was all leading to this in the end… “Stop thinking so hard,” he whispered into her ear. “For a few seconds, just feel what it could be like.” One hand slid up to her nape, while the other came to her lower back and pressed her flush into his body. She gasped as soft parts of her pressed into the hard planes of him. “It could be like this all the time,” he murmured onto her skin, his lips skimming up her throat. “You and me, little storm,” he breathed.

He was everywhere all at once, and she couldn’t think straight. Not with this damn bond urging her to give in. Begging her to let him have her. “I…”

“No, Tessa,” he whispered. “No thinking. Just feeling.”

He brushed his lips across hers in a feather-light kiss. Then he did it again to one corner of her mouth. Then the other. He moved to her jaw. Just the slightest touch of lips to

skin.

“I…” she tried again.

Was it all the Source bond? There was no doubt Theon was attractive. More than attractive. There had been something there from the moment she’d seen him at the Pantheon. Maybe her own attraction was compounding with the bond and that’s what was making this so godsdamn hard. She just wished she could know for sure because he had cared for her. Granted, he was the reason she had been ill, and he’d taken her from all she’d ever known. It only seemed right that he provide her with clothing and a roof over her head.

But he’d done other things too. He’d taken notice of her hatred of socks. He’d given her time and space, not forcing her to sleep beside him most nights and not entrancing her to obey him. He certainly hadn’t tried to force her into anything physical to appease the bond.

Even last night, he had given her an out. He’d counted to three and given her time to say no.

So why hadn’t she?

“I can hear the wheels turning in your mind,” he murmured.

She opened her mouth, not even sure what she was going to say, but a knock sounded on the main door and she tensed. Theon swore under his breath as whatever spell they’d been under shattered.

“Stay with me, beautiful,” Theon tried, long fingers gripping her chin and bringing her eyes back to his. “Ignore it. Stay where we were—”

The knock came again, sharper and more demanding “Theon,” Valter called from behind the door.

This time Tessa stepped back from him, feeling the color drain from her face.

Theon swore again, more colorfully than before. “Stay in here, Tessa. Do not come out to the main room. Do you understand?” She nodded mutely, gaze flashing to the door. “I’m going to need verbal acknowledgement.”

“Yes,” she whispered. “Yes, I understand.”

“We’ll continue this discussion in a moment.” His eyes lingered on her, but when Valter pounded on the door again, he hollered, “Coming, Father,” before turning and swiftly moving to let his father in. He pulled the bedroom door shut behind him.

Tessa turned and went back to the armchair, pulling her legs to her chest. She reached for her coffee, but it had grown cold.

“Good morning, Father,” she heard Theon say. “What can I do for you at this hour?”

“You can start by answering the door the first time I knock,” Valter answered, obvious annoyance in his tone.

“I apologize, Father. I wasn’t expecting you, let alone so early in the morning,” Theon replied.

“I came by yesterday afternoon, but you were not here. Axel said you’d gone for a hunt with Luka and taken your Source with you,” Valter answered.

“That is true. Why were you looking for me?”

“I realized after our meeting with Metias and Pavil, I never gave you these to look over.” There was a pause before Valter continued. “There are several options here, but I tagged the three I think would be most fruitful when it comes to heir production. Of course, I’m getting more offers every day, so something better could still come along.”

And there it was. One of the many reasons she couldn’t simply give in to the bond.

Theon would be Matched with someone. He would have to take a wife to produce the next

Arius Heir.

You and me.

That’s what he’d whispered into her ear moments ago. But it would never be just him and her. It was just as she’d realized on the floor at dinner. She would be his, but he would never be hers. She might not want him, but this couldn’t even be something to simply satisfy the bond. Theon would never let her seek out some form of companionship with someone else. That was becoming glaringly obvious.

“I will look over these later, but you could have simply forwarded them to me,” Theon was saying. “Is there anything else you need?”

“Where is your Source?” Valter asked, and Tessa went still as footsteps neared the bedroom door. “Don’t tell me she still sleeps while you are awake?”

“She is awake, Father. However, we were both still in the bedroom,” Theon answered.

Valter chuckled, clearly assuming he meant they were both in the bed together. “I suppose I can forgive the delay in answering the door this one time then. But next time I expect the door to be opened the first time I knock, whether you are fucking your Source or

not.”

“Understood, Father.”

“I’ll let you get back to her then,” Valter answered, footsteps fading away from the door. Tessa let out a long breath. “I’ll expect you at dinner tonight.” Before Theon could reply, he added, “You leave for the Acropolis next week. Your mother is going into hysterics. Expect family dinners for the remainder of your time here.”

Tessa heard Theon agree, and she tipped her head back in dread, closing her eyes. She didn’t know when they were leaving for the Acropolis, but days of formal dinners sounded like her own personal Pit of Torment. And this would be her life. Endless meetings and dinners, sitting silently at Theon’s side.

The bedroom door opened a few minutes later, and she heard Theon’s footfalls. When he didn’t say anything, she opened her eyes to find him standing a few feet away. His hands were in his pockets, and he was studying her.

“When do we leave for the Acropolis?” she asked, void of emotion.

“Ten days. We are allowed into the ruling families’ district of the Acropolis a week before the other Legacy,” Theon answered.

Tessa nodded. Silence fell again for several moments before she said, “I am expected to attend your family dinners with you.”

A statement, not a question.

“You are. Where I go, you go,” Theon confirmed. “Which means we need to finish our conversation.” He closed the few feet of distance between them, coming to stand over her.

Her head was still tilted back on the chair so she could look up at him. He reached out to cup her cheek, but she turned her face out of reach. He sighed. “So you’ve decided then?”

“Decided what? I don’t get choices anymore,” she countered.

“You did, but you are correct in saying you do not get them anymore,” Theon replied, that coldness slipping back into his voice as his hand dropped to his side.

“What does that mean?”

“It means that until you have accepted the bond and proven so through your actions and obedience, you no longer have choices,” he answered matter-of-factly. “You will not leave my sight or my side for longer than a few minutes at a time. There is no more running; no more trying to escape this fate. When we get to the Acropolis, it means that when you are not in your scheduled trainings, you are with me. There are no negotiations.

In public, you act appropriately—”

Tessa’s mouth had fallen open more and more as he spoke, and she lashed out at him.

“You already decide all of that for me, Theon! You decide what and when I eat. You lay clothing out for me. You—”

“I have given you time, Tessa,” Theon interrupted, that darkness drifting across his irises. “I have given you time to accept this, but it has run out. This is your destiny. This is your reality. It could have been easier. It could have been pleasant. It still can be, but you have to accept the Source bond. You think I have taken everything from you? That I am your villain? I can be that for you.”

“Why?” she whispered, unable to stop the tears from spilling over.

“Because I am out of options, Tessa. I need you to succumb to this. If this is how I will accomplish that, then I guess it is what I will do. Maybe seeing how bad it could be will make you realize that what I am offering isn’t all that terrible,” Theon answered. “There will be no more disobedience. There will be no more arguing with me, especially in public or in front of others. There will be no more pulling away from me when the bond demands our closeness,” he went on. And when her eyes widened at that last part, he added, “I will not force anything on you, Tessa. You see me as a monster, and in many ways I am, but I should hope I have already proven I am not one of that nature.”

He reached out, swiping the tears from her cheeks with his fingertips. She forced herself to remain still, resisting the urge to jerk away from his touch.

“Good girl,” he murmured, cupping her chin. “Expect consequences for inappropriate behavior.”

She stiffened at the words. “So I am to be trained like a dog now?”

Theon tsked under his breath. “Now, Tessa. If my hounds can learn such things, surely you will catch on much faster, no?”

“And how will you know that I have accepted this?” she demanded at his patronizing tone. “What shall be proof for you? When I obey your every command without question?

When I act as I have been trained to?”

“I will know when you have accepted the Source bond, Tessa,” was all he said. “Now go shower and make yourself presentable. Axel and Luka will be here for breakfast soon, and then we are going to Castle Pines.”

“For what?” she asked, her fury banking as surprise coursed through her. They hadn’t left the house since they’d arrived here days ago.

“Practice,” he purred, letting go of her chin and turning to leave the room. “Makeup and hair, beautiful. My Source will not be seen in any way less than perfect outside of our rooms.”

He left the door to the bedroom open as he strode out, leaving Tessa sitting there, not knowing what to say or do. Somehow this had all gone from bad to worse, and she didn’t know if she could do what was required of her to survive it let alone fix it. This was no different than being locked away, so controlled she couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe.

She got up and went to the balcony doors, needing some air, but when she tugged on the handles, they didn’t budge. She tugged again, the doors rattling, and her chest tightened when they stayed firmly shut. Her brow fell against the cool glass as a few raindrops began to fall, and she started to count.

At least she could still see the light, even if it was just out of reach.